Hello, I am Karl Childres backstage interviewer and analyst for Combat Unlimited: Letal Trials. We’ve had three amazing shows so far and are about to close out the company’s first quarter with a huge show in one of North America’s greatest wrestling hot beds – Florida. There were no title changes in Vegas – but we will see if the champions are able to walk out of Miami maimed.Show Opener
Fun House Hardcore Match
One of those creepy fucking clown fun houses you see at carnivals with a gaping mouth and wide eyes... yeah anyway inside there is a bunch of weapons and mirrors and shit to fuck your opponent up with.
Craig Cogan vs Lobo
Craig Cogan – if you are listening to this… for your own good… if you haven’t figured it out yet this stuff is legit. Cogan had a decent showing in the Weapons of Choice Battle Royal at What Happens in Vegas, but clearly has a had time keeping his eye on the ball after essentially eliminating himself.If Cogan and keep his eyes off his own pristine sexy quality joints when they get caught in the fun house mirrors he might have a chance – but the truth is he is walking right into Lobo’s element. Not too much is known about the deathmatch clown, but I have seen him tear a few opponents apart – sadly for Whole Cogan – limb by limb.
This should be an entertaining one to kick off the show. I don’t know if all the distractions will come in handy for Cogan or not. But I do know that with Lobo in his element it’s gong to be an uphill battle for the human action figure… but then again when isn’t it.Adrienne Beaufort vs Ace Sky vs Aid Gold
I love matches like this. We have three great talents who haven’t yet been able to pick up a win in CU:LT and this match guarantees one of them gains some momentum. Adrienne Beaufort has a great match against Max Daemon, but she draws the short straw trying to pick her first win up against the industry veteran. Beaufort has all the tools though, the look, the talent – her biggest obstacle is herself. If she can get past her self doubt she might be able to pick up a win.Trios Deathmatch
It’s a similar story for Adi Gold – she simply ran into a man who quickly turned himself into an industry vet before the age of 30 in Jason Long. Gold has a great showing though and almost picked up the win. Her antics inside and out of the the ring are entertaining to keep up with and I know after that first match she has a lot of fans interested in what she is up to.
Then you have Ace Sky who had a bunch of eliminations at the Weapon of Choice Battle Royal at What Happens In Vegas. I thought we were going to see him pick up his first win after three months of hard fought battles here in CU:LT. He’s come really close, but hasn’t been able to win the big one despite showing off some impressive high flying skills. Sometimes that flash stuff just doesn’t play off though.
This triple threat is a great addition to the show, no matter who comes out the winner it’ll be a positive reaction from the Mimai crowd. At this point I have to predict a win for Ace – after all these months something's got to give and he keeps improving. It’ll be interesting to see if English rewards the winner some home with a big match in July.
Vhodka, Vincent, Mickey Black vs Serena Riot, Riley MacKenna, Javier Cortes
The House of Black…or umm… the Black Family… whatever Vhodka her husband Vinny and Mickey Black will make their trios debut in a death match against a mashup of opponents. Riot, MacKenna and Cortes will be teaming up in this trios deathmatch.Donnie Hopkins vs Jonny C
Vhodka is hot off duping everyone with her secret identity and smashing some faces with her razor covered battle dildo at What Happens In Vegas… a memory I am sure many members of the roster wish we could leave in Sin City. While Vhodka did enjoy some iconic moments in the battle royal at the last show, she didn’t pick up the win. Vincent had an impressive win at Jonestown Reunion in his debut, but he was unable to get past his best buddy Brandon Moore for the CU:LT Classic Championship… so maybe reconnecting with some family and engaging in some family business – aka violently battering someone for money – might just be the thing he needs to find his stride here in CU:LT. While the first two members of the family are well versed in the ring – they could be weighed down by a new addition to their ranks in Mickey. While she no doubt has the combat skills which run throughout the family, I have never seen her step into a wrestling ring – if this is the very first time for her this a huge stage with a lot of pressure. Vincent and Vhodka are going to have to do some work to keep their partner on task.
The team they are up against may not work as a well oiled machine, but individually they are all talented in their own right. Riot may not have been able to pick up a win this past month, but she put a hell of a match in going up against Three Ring Barney. Now she will hope to pass that tag experience over to her opponents. MacKenna hasn’t been able to do much of anything in CU:LT he made a quick exit in the battle royal at What Happens in Vegas. The young wrestler was adamant of a booking at Massacre in Miami do you have to assume he has something up his sleeve. I just hope he has Cortes on the same page who also had a rough showing in the battle royal in his debut. It’ll be an up hill battle for this rag tag team – and it would be pretty embarrassing if they found a way to beat their opponents.
I wasn’t sure Donnie Hopkins was going to be able to be booked for Massacre in Miami. We saw him try and drown Jane in Lake Vegas after losing his rematch for the New World Championship. But it seems no charges will be pressed in the incident. Now Donnie breaks from a marathon of main event matches to face Jonny C in what might be a sleeper match that steals the whole card.
You know Donnie is hungry after his loss and you know he has no intention of giving up his chase of the New World Championship. He will probably be looking to rip Jonny C limb from limb and prove he is the top dog in this company championship belt around his waist or not… and let me tell you Jonny F’N C is not someone to sleep on. This guy is world traveled and has put down some of the best – if Jonny thinks this is an easy match following his battles with Jane he is sorely mistaken and Jonny is a whole different ball game. This is going to be a knock down flat out old school fucking brawl between industry vets with compeltly different fighting styles.
While Donnie has been stomping it out in CU:LT since day one and has only been beaten by Jane Doe, Jonny only made his debut at What Happens in Vegas – he had an impressive showing coming down to the final six, but you know he wishes he went a little bit further.
Jonny is a former IIW World Champion and with Donnie being the first and former CU:LT New World Champion this will be a battle of who stays relevant in CU:LT. It’s a hard one to pick a winner in – but a loss might be a lot for either man to get over.
Staple Gun Match
You get a staple gun, you get a staple gun, you get a staple gun -- use them to hurt your opponents... simple as that. The winner of this one will become number one contender for the SNUFF Championship.
Antonio vs Ferolino vs Holden Ross vs Jason Cross
This card is chalk full of gimmick and death matches galore – but it wouldn’t be a Massacre in Miami without a little violent flavor. Casanova English is delivering on that this month with booking a staple gun match to determine the number one contender for the SNUFF Championship.CU:LT Classic Championship
Antonio couldn’t dance his way to winning the Ouija Board Tournament, but he has a chance to redeem himself and earn a crack at the SNUFF strap – but he’ll have to use his agility to dodge those staples to win this one. I’m not sure if this match is his wheelhouse, but we will see if he can adapt in Miami.
Ferolino was another who had a standout performance in the Weapon of Choice Battle Royal at the last show, but was unable to walk out the winner. Still she has already retired Lady Fartmouth with an absolutely brutal attack in her debut. Buck Nasty is living up to her namesake by willing to do whatever the hell it takes to hurt her opponent – even if that includes nearly crippling herself. She has a good shot in this one armed with a staple gun and she could be well on her way to being the first woman to hold the SNUFF Championship.
Holden Ross has been a staple in this company who has provided some big moments already, but hasn’t been able to win a match and gain any momentum in CU:LT. He’s aiming to change that now he is breaking free of tag team matches after falling short twice for the Double Homicide Championships with two different partners. This time the brawling brute is all by himself. He came close to winning the SNUFF Championship at CU:LT’s debut event and this is his chance to get right back in the race.
Jason Cross is making his debut and has an opportunity to make a splash in the company all in a matter of three seconds if he can take one of his three opponents to the mat. He’s already threatened to staple Ross right to the mat on social media… but I don’t know if staples would ever be able to hold the big man down. This match will serve to see who will be a force not be be fucked with in CU:LT’s deathmatch division.
Brandon Moore vs Shogun Kaiser
Moore came on the scene beating Owen Gonsalves to win the CU:LT Classic Championship in his debut and he had an impressive defense against Vincent Black at What Happens in Vegas… but he hasn’t had a challenger quite like Shogun.Number 1 Contender for Classic Championship
Shogun was scouted by Casanova English himself as someone who was hot in the Japanese market for them CU:LT makes its debut later this year. I can’t expect him to be upset if Shogun won the championship and brought some big match power to that card – but it won’t be an easy thing to pull off for the man rumored to be CU:LT’s highest paid competitor.
Moore is on a mission to prove 1) he still has it and 2) that he is a legitimate wrestler through and through. He’s been able to do that so far and if he is able to beat Shogun at Massacre in Miami he will cement the greatest list of title defenses in this company’s short history. It all depends on what version of Moore shows up. This could be bell to bell the best wrestling match on the show.
Casey Caesar vs Noah Ortega vs Dickie Watson vs Legion
Whoever walks away with the CU:LT CLassic Championship won’t be out of the woods for very long as the next challenger will also be determined at Massacre in Miami. We have a new debut, two people who had amazing showings last month in the weapons of choice battle royal and Legion who is hoping to return to the win column.Ouija Board Tournament Round II
Caesar is in a weird spot I am sure he didn’t expect to see him in. He is coming right from the backyard and will have to showcase his wrestling ability in his first match. It might be an uphill battle for Casey who is used to makeshift rings and forcing his opponents to touch grass but battling in the pure wrestling division in this company is a hell of a lot different.
Noah Ortega has an impressive debut and was screwed out of winning the weapon of choice battle royal at What Happens in Vegas when Chris Page rolled him up quick. This is his shot to seize an opportunity as long as he keeps his wits about him this time. I think Noah has a good shot of winning this match. He showed some deathmatch skill at the last show, but I think he is the total package and is a threat to any division.
Dickie Watson wants to work. Watson has been asking for more bookings not wanting to let any ring rust build up now that FIGHTNYC has closed their doors. Dickie had a great performance in the battle royal as well – but this is Watson’s first chance to show what they really have. It’ll be interesting to see if the first Project Honor Grand Champion fast tracks their way to a championship here in CU:LT. In fact, Watson never did lose the FIGHTNYC Empire Championship.
Legion is the one here with something to prove she has the biggest footprint in CU:LT. She wasn’t able to win her first march but did end up beating Ace Sky at Jonestown Reunion. She made a quick exit in the battle royal. This is a big sink or swim moment for Legion her being the only member of the match who has been with the company since day one.
Corporate Brand Match
What better way to show company loyalty than getting a cattle brand of the CU:LT logo pushed into your flesh – singed in permanently. Whoever can brand their opponent first wins and moves on to the finals of the tournament.
Max Daemon vs Charli Crawford
Daemon’s only set back has been losing the SNUFF Championship to JD Driftwood and by anyone’s standards that truly isn’t a failure. Daemon was the first SNUFF Champion and he made it through round one of the Ouija Board Tournament in impressive fashion against the less experience Beaufort. Obviously no one would be surprised of Max took the whole damn thing – me included.New World Championship
Crawford on the other hand has delivered in matches far beyond expectation. She advanced in the tournament in impressive fashion and in her debut had a match of the year candidate taking a loss in a triple threat thumb tack match – but it seems she learned from her experience. This is a huge chance for her to beat an industry vet and become a true rising star in this company. I saw Daemon can take the whole thing, but I think Crawford has the skill set to do it too. Regardless it’s a strange stipulation having to push a hot cattle brand into the skin of your opponent, but there is no doubt either would be a great sponsor to be branded for life. I have to think with Crawford’s history in prison she might have the edge in a while brawl like this.
Then again you never really can count out Max Daemon… the guy has a Reddit fan page for a reason.
Jane Doe vs Jaka
People are probably wondering how Jaka lost at What Happens in Vegas but still manages to get a title shot for Massacre in Miami. Well following the controversial decision of Chris Page, which we will get to later a shot at the World Championship was left open and Jaka found herself slotted in.
Jaka has always found a way to make herself relevant in CU:LT from muscling her way into the New World Champion triple threat at the debut show to beating one of her friends Iggy Deluna half to death… and managing to sell kicks at a high cost – win lose or draw – people have to give her credit as one of the most savvy business people in the game. However I hear she had a sprained ankle from the Grapectacular events – so now we know some of her speed and pantaent stomps won’t be as effective.
Something she will need to work around if she plans on keeping New World Champion Jane Doe down. Jane is off of two impressive hard fought wins against Donnie Hopkins – now she goes for her second title defense. I am sure she will be hungry and no one quite sniffs out a wound like Jane. I’ll be an uphill hike for Jaka at Massacre in Miami and well Jane is right at the top of that mountain. Jane will want to reassert her dominance and she finally has the chance to show that against someone other than Donnie. Some are questioning if Jane will even be 100 percent herself when she steps in the ring considering the brutal attack following her win in Vegas… but there is only one way to find out: tune into Massacre in Miami June 30 live on Wrestlecult.com.
Ouija Board Tournament Round II
Landscaping Legends Match
The ring is surrounded with lawn care tools to use as weapons, spades, sheers, weed whackers. You get the drift. Use the weapons to beat the hell out of your opponent and win the match to move along in this god forsaken tournament.
El Dragon Dorado vs Jason Long
We continue with the Ouija Board Tournament and the theme of testing people death match and gimmick skills. Jason Long has packed a lot of experience into his 24 years in life, but it still doesn’t quite match up to wrestling legend El Dragon Dorado – he is a true legend from the old school and he’s finding a way to make it work in CU:LT. It’s a toss up on who might take this one – but you add in the element of using yard tools as weapons and you may have to give the younger Jason Long the advantage here.Double Homicide Championships
It’ll be interesting to see how the two styles will mash up as these two battle it out for an unknown reward – but this does have the potential to be match of the night if both men deliver accordingly. I’ll have to side with Long taking this one, but Dorado can never be counted out. I don’t think many expected him to have such an easy time against Savannah in the opening round.
Three Ring Barney vs Lissie Hope and Chris Page
This one can be classified as the headliner of the night as CU:LT’s most successful champions Three Ring Barney takes on the awkward team of bitter rivals Chris Page and Lissie Hope. Lissie Hope had thought she chased her ticket to a New World Championship shot by beating Jaka in Vegas, but Chris Page then revealed he had already chosen Hope to be his tag team partner in a shot he earned earlier in the night for the Double Homicide Championships.The Main Motherfuckin' Event
I don’t think Hope and Page are getting on the same side in the span of a single month considering their history and the trash talk they have dished out over the last year. While you could consider both as possible future New World Champions… if Chris Page doesn’t retire first anyway. As I was saying, both are proficient singles competitors… world traveled world champions and stars… but tag team wrestling is a whole other world. I’ve seen some of the best in the world team up and completely flop.
And they aren’t in the ring with any regular team. Luna Baby and Royston Poppelwell have been unstoppable since coming to the promotion. Many might suggest Chester Roosevelt’s outside involvement has been a reason for their success but that just isn’t true. He has never directly led to his team getting the victory. It’s the strength and toughness of Royston and the speed and aerial abilities of Luna that keep the team unpredictable in terms of attack plans. If Page and Hope have a chance at winning not only will they have to be at the top of their game – they will have to find a way to work together as a unit against a team where that is simply second nature.
Lightube Scaffold Match
Throw your opponent off the scaffold through a pile of light tubes below to win. Light tubes will be hung from the sky along the sides of the scaffold for each opponent to use.
JD Driftwood vs Justin York
This is the one putting asses in seats on June 30th. JD Driftwood will get quite the reception in his home state and Justin York has already kicked off the war with the way he attacked Driftwood at What Happens in Vegas with a light tube after JD defeated his SNUFF Championship in brutal fashion against David Hunter ending his career in CU:LT for the time being.
Driftwood has had some of the greatest matches in this company’s short history. He had an absolutely classic wrestling Owen Gonsalves in a loss for the Classic Championship at the debut show but rebounded quickly beating Max Daemon on what will go down as an all time classic – a Taipei Deathmatch for the SNUFF Championship. I don’t think JD is looking to lose the strap in his own state, in fact he has already promised to throw York off the top of the scaffold within five minutes.
You know York is surprising, most people through Mason St. Croix was going to shred the face off the cocky youngster at What Happens in Vegas – but Justin York went in with a game plan and executed perfectly. Now people think he might be insane for attacking JD after winning the number one contendership, but I think it was kind of smart. It’s not like Driftwood was ever going to go soft on him so why not get a shot in early and get a little bit of an advantage heading into Massacre in Miami. York has entered the deathmatch game with a lot of spunk, and might achieve hardcore legend status if Driftwood doesn’t rip the kids head from his shoulder – shit down his throat – and toss his carcass off a scaffold.
These two are going to have too damn near kill each other for a win and the bloodthirsty Florida fans are going to lover every second of it. Tune in live on Wrestlecult.com on June 30 for all the beautiful brutality.