CU:LT Highway to Summer of Slam

This is a debut for both of these wrestlers and Casanova English may not realize the booking he has made for an opener -- but I think both Addy and JC are going to be huge players in this company.This match will merely decide who wills start to climb the ladder quicker. I know Addy has a lot of deathmatch experience, but she might be at a disadvantage going up against a gifted brawler in JC Keeton. I really think this one could go either way.


No matter who you match up in this one is going to be an amazing first round and finals. While the concept was to pay homage to the lineage of FIGHT! It appears the only one with a real connection is Vhodka. I know that will light a fire under her to try and walk away with this title, but that’ll be easier said than done. Shogun is hungry for championship gold after his short stint as CU:LT Classic Champion. Holden Ross just missed a moonsault that could have secured him the SNUFF Championship at Trash Wrestling -- so you know the big man is going to be motivated in this one. Alice Gemini is facing a huge up hill battle, she’s making her debut and she asked for this one. If I had to put money on it, I’d have to go with Holden Ross -- but since he was nearly burned to death -- I mean I can’t promise that he’ll be 100 per cent. I think someone like Shogun will be smart enough to take advantage of that if they match up. So I have to go with Shogun here -- but I think it’ll be a hard fought battle to become the first FIGHT Champion.

You saw the 1996 classic Matilda right? What is the chokey in Matilda? The chokey is a tiny room that is too small to sit down in. The walls are covered with broken glass and rusty nails, so children have to stand very straight while locked inside to avoid getting cut -- I hope your adult bodies fit in okay. Put your opponent inside, shut the door and win.

A unique concept here -- but both of these wrestling legends have pretty much seen it all. Max Daemon makes his return after a loss in the finals of the Ouija Board Tournament to Charli Crawford. I’m excited to see Daemon make a return after a month off and this a huge match for him. Vincent Black has been making statements the past few months -- especially at Trash Wrestling where he rag dolled Jessie Lee in a Kennel From Hell match. Both these men have massive mean streaks and considering the nature of this match I think the winner should go on to challenge for the SNUFF Championship. Black has really shown some brutality the last few months and is making a case to challenge for a championship again after a hard fought loss to Brandon Moore for the Classic Championship. He seems hellbent on proving to Casanova English he belongs in the main event scene. Daemon was the first SNUFF Champion, he hasn’t had a rematch for the strap yet -- putting one of the most dominate competitors in the company in a tomb of rusty nails and glass makes a good case that he should have a shot at the title he lost to JD Driftwood in what many consider the greatest match in this company’s history. I think I am going to have to pick Daemon as the winner here, I think the month off has done him well -- he now has the CU:LT logo burned into his chest and at this point I think he has no other choice but to continue to make a name for himself here. One thing is for sure with these two matched up -- it is going to be a brutal contest.


This is a scramble special, you have four hungry competitions going at it. Beaufort was unable to beat Johnny, but came pretty damn close. Vebbins has a similar story coming up short in her debut by a hair. Both these women tasted victory and you know they will want to quench that thirst. It’s a different story for Ace Sky. Ace finally found himself in the win column after four hard fought losses. You know Sky is going to want to string together some wins and prove that he is on his way to being a major player now he has found his footing. Mark Hunter is making his debut and what better way to catch the eye of English and the fans than beating four people in your first match. What I am saying is each person is motivated to win this one. I got a little bit of a soft spot for Ace Sky though -- the man has been working his ass off and I think he surprises everyone with his second win at Summer of Slam.


You could say Team Buddy Back Pose smashed through the ceiling of tag team wrestling when they ended the run of Three Ring Barney as the top tag team in CU:LT. But Craig Cogan and Charli Crawford will be up against two great wrestlers in Johnny Bacchus and Jonny C at Summer of Slam. English has had trouble attracting tag teams, but the people he has been pairing together are starting to make the division take a little shape. While Crawford and Cogan were impressive their first time teaming together -- I think the Jonny and Johnny might walk away as the new Double Homicide Champions.

Noah Ortega probably has the biggest upset win in CU:LT and it didn’t even happen at one of our shows. Noah was able to capture the CU:LT Classic Championship by beating Shogun Kaiser at the Cannabis Cup. Legion on the other hand literally close lined Jaka out of her fucking Nikes at Trash Wrestling asserting her dominance in the quicket match in company history. This one is going to be a match of inches. I know English has been high on Ortega since his signing with the company -- so I don’t know what he was thinking by booking this match against Legion when she is on a hot streak. That’s who I have to pick here, she has had more matches in this company and she has bounced back in a phenomenal way. I think Legion finds a way to walk out with the strap.

There is one of those kinky dog leashes hanging from a pole, use it to choke your opponent out and win the match. The Sound of Death, Luna Baby and Royston Popplewell are all banned from ringside.

For the past four months Jane Doe has been leaving a trail of broken bodies as she dragged along the New World Championship. At the same time Three Ring Barney has been absolutely dominant as Double Homicide Champions -- mostly with the aid of Chester Roosevelt at ringside. Now both these competitors have no strap it’s time to see what they have to fight for. This will actually mark Chester’s in-ring debut -- but we have seen time and time again he knows how to dish out the hurt. Jane on the other hand knows how to take it -- she was just electrocuted at Trash Wrestling for the love of God. This all depends on if Roosevelt comes to play, something tells me he has experience with those kinky dog leashes but I'm not sure which end. However, choking out someone who is well undead won’t be easy. For that reason I have to give the former New World Champion the edge.


JD Driftwood said he would throw York off a scaffold in under five minus at Massacre in Miami -- while he failed to do that he did send the fucker flyinf down 30 feet through a pile of light tubes. Now JD is going to want to get things done before the 15-min clock ticks down or the explosion around the ring could end both their careers. York has proved he has come here for a fight, a month after that epic tumble he was able to beat an angry and motivated Serena Riot. He could be biting off more than he can chew much too quickly here. I think he should have gave himself a month to heal -- I think it’s all going to come back to bit the cokey youngster. I think Driftwood is pretty much unstoppable at this point. While I think the outing from York will be better than the scaffold match at Massacre In Miami -- I have to go with JD Driftwood continuing his stranglehold on the division.


Lissie Hope has been surprisingly silent after her win over Chris Page. Maybe it’s because Ol’ Man Hopkins has no social media. But you have to wonder how Hope is preparing for her biggest match in the company to date. All can say if after a grueling match with Chris Page I hope she rebounds enough physically to be able to give Donnie a run for his money, because I don’t think Hopkins is going to want his second run on top to end as quickly as his first. Hope has the superstar quality, that aura around her that she could carry any company on her shoulders at least for a period… but CU:LT isn’t any company. It wasn’t built for the Lissie Hopes of the world and I think that is what makes her want this so bad. She’ll have to keep that fire burning if she wants to win the New World Championship. Donnie Hopkins proved he is the top wrestler in this company, he is finally being given his flowers in this industry and I think Danger Donnie finds a way to put Hope down for the three count. He has been in some grueling gimmick matches the last few months and has performed well and I think this straight up fight is more in his wheelhouse.

Make sure to tune into Summer of Slam streaming live on WrestleCult.Com on August 31st.

The stench of the Boston punk scene, attached to me from a few drunken nights in bars around the city, hasn't quite shaken itself from my vessel.

I could still taste the sweat of other men and it all reminded me of wrestling – being in the mosh pits for the first time in fifteen years. I run the tip of my tongue over a small piece of chipped front tooth – lost on the nipple piercing of some tattooed twenty something trying to find pleasure at the base of my cock.

From there to this sterile white walled, hospital clean bullshit. These stainless steel elevator doors pushing back my reflection like I should be ashamed. The circles around my eyes, the protruding veins – it’s amazing how quickly a man fed by violence starves when the opportunity for blood lust is taken away.

They nurtured me.

Ended my career early.

Made me take up the mantle as owner when all I ever wanted to do was feel the warm rush of crimson flow down my face, drip off my chin, and trail to the top of the mountain.

The shiny metal doors open to my grim existence and I step inside the suspended cube. My leg shakes for a cigarette. They swing open once more and I walk into the room and look up at the board members staring down from their ridiculously elevated table. The three fucking assholes overseeing CULT pulling all the financial strings while I work my ass off trying to deliver quality wrestling and entertainment month in and month out. Their eyes peer through their stupid rubber masks – The Eagle, The Elephant and The Horse. A trifecta of weird corporate elite feeling furries.

“They way you spoke with my colleague here was unacceptable. I don’t care how well we are doing. I don’t care if we are the talk of the motherfucking strawberry social, you make these meetings or we will find another way to do things,” The Horse said.

Clearly he was upset at the way I spoke to The Eagle at Trash Wrestling. With the success Combat Unlimited has had I didn’t think there was a need for all this theater. All this fucking bullshit. I hate constantly being reminded this isn’t mine. I am just a puppet and they pull the strings. All because this Eagle faced fuck has all this dirt on my past, how my father died – how his did – all the blood on my hands.

“Yeah, what you want a fucking Power Point?,” I asked.

“We have the numbers,” The Eagle said.

“Then you want me to come here and tell you who the number one contenders are… who I feel need to be pushed. Tell you who I think has the it factor. That people like Craig Cogan should maybe be put down? Is that what you want to hear?,” I ask sarcastically.

“We want people like Chris Page at the top of the card,” The Elephant chimed in. “He’s a money drawer, he has money, he can invest it. We want him on the cards going forward. We need to milk his draw money while he can still go at his level. There has been talk he’s reaching the end of his in ring career. Maybe we could bring him on as a consultant.”

I clench my fist and release it, sighing before I speak.

“That isn’t how this agreement is supposed to work. I have a proven track record when it comes to booking these shows. I am earning deal after deal for this company. It wasn’t built for the Chris Pages of the world. This was built for upcoming stars and underrated talent. I’m not going to allow this fucking board to dictate who main events my shows.”

The Eagle slams his fist against the wooden table startling the other members more than me.

“You need to be reeled in at times Mr. English. See you have people like Noah Ortega who are champions spouting dangerous rhetoric about cults and crumbling societies. Little too spot on for my liking,” The Eagle said. “Maybe make sure he gets a couple more chair shots to the head – I like the wrestlers that yell. Whatever happened to painting your face and yelling about outer space an shit? I miss the 80’s.”

The Eagle seems to calm down a bit – but I don’t.

“Look, the agreement is you bankroll this shit and I make sure you have somewhere to launder all the pretty profits while making barely a fraction of what and of you assholes takes home.”

“Watch your tone,” The Elephant said.

“Look if people win matches they will get pushed, that’s how it is going to go. I’m not dipping my toes into this shit on my roster to appease you and if that means you need to assign me some sort of babysitter so be it,” I said.

“You understand this is to be a money making endeavor for us. This isn’t some sandbox for you to play in. This is about us becoming as profitable and powerful as possible. I am not pulling any punches sweetheart. Hell we will invite Lady Fartmouth back and put her ass mouth on every billboard if we think that sideshow will draw the crowd. And you’d get them printed up with a smile on your smug fucking face,” The Elephant said.

“Report back to use following Summer of Slam. We have big ideas to share.”

I turned on my heel and walked out of the room – not wanting to give them all the satisfaction of seeing me angry. I put a cigarette between my lips as the elevator takes me up the main floor. As soon as I escape the colorless walls to the fresh outside air I pollute it all by lighting the cig.

“Fuck,” I said under my breath.

I pull out the gold plated ticket. I am sure it is fake – not worth pawning. It pushes my reflection back in my face – almost blinding me as the sun hits it. I swear it’s the man I used to be. 10 years younger. The man that choked people out in the center of the ring. The Modern Day Messiah. The Icon Killer.

It’s an invitation.

The World Series of Wrestling being put on by This Is Awesome Promotions this October.

My return to the ring.