Hello I am Karl Childers and this is The Breakdown - where I look at the matches at the upcoming CU:LT show this April, Jonestown Reunion, and provide a little background and insight into the matches and stories unfolding.
Lady Fartmouth vs Jolyne Ferolino
We saw an appearance from the controversial Lady Fartmouth at Manson Family Values. English has been forced into requiring LFM as she is being called in the locker room to wear a mask or a mouth covering while appearing on camera. Staff has been told is is both a sanitary move and to avoid an X rating. Lady Fartmouth will go one on one with the debuting “Buck Nasty” Jolyne Ferolino.
LFM is one of the most controversial stars in the sport today, just based on her physical appearance alone… something Stacy Sting has been very sympathetic about – believing the company is exploiting her disability. Her biggest advantage is her unpredictability, but when she goes up against Buck Nasty she’ll have to worry about that offensively. As Ferolino has already said on Twitter she is willing to pretty much cripple herself to walk away with a win. She has a death defying style and I think that’s what is needed to go up against someone like LFM. Ferolino has already showed her truly nasty side making her presence felt at Manson Family Values when she attacked Nightmare following her debut win against Legion.
It might have seemed more logical to see English book Ferolino vs Legion – but I think this is a bit of a punishment for the disruption caused and maybe if Buck Nasty can get through this disgusting test, to put it lightly, against LFM maybe she gets a shot at proving she belongs in the ring with the upper echelon being formed in the company.
Vincent Black vs Caleb Hart
Vincent Black is being called the biggest free agent signing for CU:LT since it’s inception – the returning wrestling will have a steep challenge though as they face another hungry newcomer to the company “The Man In White” Caleb Hart. Many seem to have counted Caleb out – but looking at his style it might be a great match for him. He wrestles an old school 80’s style,nothing too flashing to put himself at risk to any openings from Black. I think if he can keep is basic, stick to the fundamentals he will have a great chance at walking away with the win. I hear his mom thinks he’s handsome too. That has to be worth something.
Black will be a tall order for Hart to try and deal with. He has a lot on the line, he was a huge name in this business and if he doesn’t walk away with a win here against Caleb Hart he might not get that match in vegas he wants with his good buddy Brandon Moore. I’ve heard Chris Page, who is on this card as well – say this is just the second match of the night. Here at CU:LT the placement doesn’t matter and the rest of the roster better hope these two don’t set a pace that can’t keep up with.
Thumbtack Triple Threat Match
Jason Long vs Savannah Andrews vs Charli Crawford
The first gimmick match of the night is a thumbtack triple threat match – each competitor will get their own bag of tacks and can use them at their own free will. These are three hungry newcomers ready to shed blood to prove they belong here in a CU:LT and what better way to make yourself part of a possible SNUFF Championship match down the line by proving yourself by becoming a human pin cushion.
Jason Long is a regular with Project Honor where CU:LT owner Casanova English wrestles – though they haven’t crossed paths. At just 24 years old he has just as many title runs as he does years on this earth. Which begs the question why come here and compete in a match like this and possibly shave years off your career? It’s the same as what brings everyone to CU:LT the desire to be labeled the baddest motherfucker in this business. I’ll tell you this though, Long likes to fly before this match but he might not like to after – coming from the height he gets – coming down onto tacks would be absolutely devastating and probably slow ‘The King’ down quite quickly. On the other side of that, if he is able to hit that curb stomp finisher of his and drive either Savannah or Crawford’s skull into a pile of tacks it’s a done deal.
Speaking of Savannah she is no stranger to Long coming from Project Honor as well. ‘The Queen of Candyland’ hopes to inject some sweetness into this company at Jonestown Reunion. Savannah Andrews or commonly known as Savannah Sunshine will have an uphill battle trying to put some positivity into this promotion – especially with how much she hates multi-person matchups. Time and time again she has come close to greatness and with a win in this triple threat she could find herself well on the way to competing for championships. Black and Sunshine have ended up in so many companies together I have to wonder who is stalking who.
Charli Crawford really plays the spoiler here. She is used to that though, having a family full of criminals she took an alternative route working in law enforcement before moving to professional wrestling. I’m sure she has seen a hell of a lot on the job and a few tack wounds won’t make her squeamish. She has been competing on the independent scene around Kentucky and this is a huge chance for her to get some recognition on a big stage – win, lose or draw she really comes out on top being matched up with two people bringing some real star power to the fight. Crawford’s history is a bit marred in controversy, going to jail for money laundering for two years while working for the ATF – something she maintains to this day she was framed in. Despite that her history in law enforcement and her time in prison has surely made her a tough competitor to put down for a three count. She may be disowned by her family, but I think she is going to make one hell of a CU:LT member and if Long or Sav underestimate her they might end up losing their debut.
Ace Sky vs Legion
Ace Sky put on an amazing opener at Manson Family Values though he didn’t come out on top. He proved he is willing to take all the risks and will do whatever it takes to become a star in this company – it’s just that so many others have the same will and goal. Sky didn’t lose to a nobody though, if the match stayed originally as booked I think he would have beat Gideon Cross clean – but when Cross dropped out of Manson Family Values Serena Riot stepped up and I don’t think Sky had enough time to prepare and change tactics and it’s likely why he launched himself over the rope to start the match against Riot on the last show – it just didn’t pay off. Now he has a full month to prepare and knows it will be him and Legion going one on one at Jonestown Reunion, I think he has a real shot at getting in the win column here.
Legion is another person who came up short at Manson Family Values. She put on a hell of a match with Nightmare – but her night was spoiled by Wendigo using her music to distract her, causing Legion to hit Mister J, her own manager, with her mist. Legion did get revenge by throwing Wendigo through the skybox window and we haven’t heard from the monster since here at CU:LT. Clearly Legion is motivated and without distractions this could be her night to start a win streak. If Legion can keep Say grounded and use her visiciousnes to wear him down it's a done deal.
One thing is for sure, both these competitors lost at Manson Family Values but at Jonestown Reunion one of them will walk out a winner and see if they can carry that momentum forward when CU:LT heads to Vegas in May.
TaiPei Death Match
Max Daemon vs JD Driftwood
Anyone who saw the scene in the Jean-Claude Van Damme classic Kickboxer knows this one is going to be brutal. While Daemon doesn’t like to use weapons, English decided to give him no choice by attaching them to his hands. For JD Driftwood it’s probably something he and his dad did on Sunday nights for fun. Both men will wrap their hands, dip them in glue, then dip them in shards of glass.
Honestly this match is much more Driftwood’s wheelhouse after an incredible bout with Owen Gonsalves at Manson Family Values which many say stole the show. Driftwood has so many scars it’s going to feel like nothing getting that soft tissue cracked back open. He took Owen to the limit and got finished with a bridged pin at the end – but this match won’t have near the same amount of finesse. This is going to be a down and dirty bloody brawl.
Daemon was upset with the way the match has been promoted on social media claiming the hype is around JD and not himself as the first SNUFF Champion. I’d just like to say Driftwood did cause some controversy beating a fan with a beer can – which has caused some buzz for better or worse – but I do have to agree with Max here. He is the champion and he’s not be overlooked. He might not use weapons very often but he was able to find a way to win the pint of blood match by stealing from Wendigo’s glass. He won’t have that cop out when he’s up against JD – but Max has done some wild shit – even competing against some popular MMA fighter or something. That might give him an edge going into this, his strikes are going to definitely be amplified. The thing is, I think he’s going to have to damn near kill JD Driftwood if he wants to hang on to his championship. This is Max’s opportunity to prove he belongs in the SNUFF division and his win wasn’t a fluke at Manson Family Values.
Double Homicide Championships
Three Ring Barney vs Ross & Hunter
Three Ring Barney, despite what some ill informed podcasts may think, is indeed a trio which holds the Double Homicide Championships using “Threebird Rules”. The duo of Luna Baby and Royston Popplewell beat The Influence, who I have heard is taking hiatus to deal with their injuries following the brutal barbed wire cage match at Manson Family Values. Three Ring Barney is on it’s way to being a mainstay in CU:LT and many are wondering when they will see the in ring debut of Chester Roosevelt. Luna Baby had some of the most incredible spots on the companies first show but this time they are in a traditional rules match – I wonder if they will be half as proficient without being able to use a steel cage or weapons to put their opponents down. It’s always exciting to wonder who Three Ring Barney might put up at a tag team and how it will affect the outcome of the match.
This will be the first standard tag match in CU:LT and we desperately need more tag teams. That’s why Ross and Hunter will reform the successful duo of Pandemonium and take a crack at the tag titles. Hunter and Ross both fought in the pint of blood match at Manson Family Values beating the hell out of one another, but both came up on the losing end. It’ll be interesting to see if they make better teammates than they do opponents.
It’s rumored the next contenders for the titles are the couple Blake O’Reilly and Iggy Deluna who will get a shot at What Happens In Vegas… this May.
Elimination Flaming Tables Match
Lissie Hope vs Chris Page vs Blake O'Reilly vs Nightmare
Speaking of Blake O’Reilly he was unable to pick up a win against Jane Doe at Manson Family Values, but he put up a hell of a battle in that contest against a person most other people would shit their pants stepping into the ring with her. I’ve been keeping up on social media and I know he has been training alongside his girl Iggy Deluna ahead of this match and is really wanting to pick up some momentum as the head toward a Double Homicide Championships shot.
Nightmare on the other hand did pick up a win and is hoping to make it two in a row at Jonestown Reunion. She was able to pick up her first win while her opponent was distracted, but I don’t think she is going to have the same option here. In a flaming tables match she is going to have to keep her head on a swivel.
Hope is another participant who is hoping to start a bit of a streak here, she is one of the most popular acts in the business, loved to death by those who respect her and very much hated by those who feel she is over hyped. She’s a polarizing figure a company can really be built around – if she is able to stay out of her own way. She picked fights with the entire roster, called everyone out to face her and ended up with three people who will have no problem roasting her. Hope already has another match booked with Jaka at What Happens in Vegas… but she can’t look past this match.
Chris Page will make his CU:LT debut as he prepares for his death match at the upcoming Cannabis Cup. Page’s media relations team hasn’t yet provided a bio, but a contract has been signed and Page has had several media appearances in the past few days promoting the upcoming match referring to it as a Marshmallow Match – unfortunately for Page I think things will be a lot less mellow than he expects. Hope and Page have a lot of history with one another and I have to wonder if they are going to be too preoccupied with one another to keep their eyes on the ball.
This is another contest which could really make a case for the winner to challenge for the SNUFF Championship – I mean if you are willing to set people on fire.
CU:LT Classic Championship
Owen Gonsalves vs Brandon Moore
Going from death match wrestling once again into a classic match – CU:LT loves to create brutality sandwiches.
Owen Gonsalves is probably in his prime right now. The match he put on with Driftwood at Manson Family Values might set the standard for things to come in this company – especially when it comes to the classic division here. Gonsalves’ night was ruined though with the appearance of Brandon Moore who laid him out just as he claimed the CU:LT Classic Championship. Gonsalves is talented and after years in the game he is a refined baby faced killer. It’s a beautiful thing to watch the way he works the ring – his awareness is top notch and if he can get past Moore at Jonestown Reunion he might be in early discussion as the most talented wrestler on the roster bar none.
It won’t be easy for Owen to prove that fact through. Moore is off a successful run in FIGHT!NYC. He held the Bareknuckle Championship there so he is no stranger to an old school slug fest. He’s going to put Owen through a brutal brawl and there is no question neither man will be the same at the end of this. Moore is an ultraviolet grappling technician who I know is going to slam and suplex the shit out of Owen.
We’re either going to see Owen launch an era of dominance in the Classic division or we are going to see Moore take a huge step toward returning to his former glory – and I know he is motivated to do that knowing Vincent Black, who he has a lot of history with, has joined the company.
Jaka vs Iggy Deluna
Iggy and Jaka have had this one in the works before Jonestown Reunion was even announced as an event. They are friends, but at Jonestown Reunion they will put that friendship aside and become true enemies. Both of them have warned one another on Twitter there will be no holding back. Jaka has even requested the match be a grimes rules match, I have no idea what that means but I can only assume it would give her the advantage.
Jaka knows how to get down and dirty, the soles of her shoes were dipped in glass at Manson Family Values in a losing effort for the New World Championship. She also knows how to sell a match – and a pair of rare shoes – I can only imagine what she got for those Nikes. She wasn’t actually pinned in last month’s main event – so let's see if Jaka can keep her shoulders off the mat once again, but this time pick up a win doing it.
Iggy on the other hand wasn’t able to keep her shoulders off the mat last month when she took an L to Lissie Hope. She did however show how athletic and talented she is, competition is stiff. Now she aims to rip the head off of Jaka with a lariat – it might be the most devastating closeline in the business, but so far she hasn’t been able to nail it. I think if she does, there isn’t a single person on the roster getting up within three seconds.
New World Championship
Buried Alive Match
Donnie Hopkins vs Jane Doe
In the main event we're going to get a man who has been trying to keep one foot of the grave up against a woman who crawled right out of one.
New World Champion Donnie Hopkins will go up against Jane Doe in a buried alive match of all things. Both picked up huge and impressive wins at Manson Family Values. Donnie managed to win a grueling triple threat that saw Tommy Knox almost lose one eye. Finally after over two decades in the business Hopkins finally won the big one and to be honest I couldn’t be happier for him. He’s an absolute beast, but I have to wonder if matches go long if he will be able to still keep up after all the injuries over the years. Hopkins will be a completely different type of contest at Jonestown Reunion though. Pinning someone or making them tap out is one thing, but burying another person six feet deep is another. I do know that Hopkins is going to go as far as he can in this run til the brakes fall off and that makes him one dangerous man. Ol’ Donnie Danger can put the doubters to rest if he can put Jane Doe, well, back from where she cam from.
I don’t think that will be an easy task though. Doe won a hell of a match against O’Reilly last month and found her way into this match. She has a big match aura about her and win or lose I think she will become a staple in this company. Her unique underworld feel gives her the advantage here. Jane has died before if you ask the people who have looked into her background – there are several Reddit fan pages discussing where she came from and who she was before Jane Doe, but no one has truly been able to nail down her past. That unpredictability is what Donnie is going to have to navigate if he wants to hold on to his championship.
Jane and Donnie will go to war in Guyana and regardless who gets put into a grave – both of them might be closer to a legitimate one by the end of this.
I’m Karl Childers and that’s the Big Match Breakdown for Jonestown Reunion