Post by jaka on Apr 23, 2022 3:03:29 GMT
“Why are you calling? What is it now, Jamie?”
It had been a few days since Manson Family Values. I was aching. Bruised up. Beaten. Couple of scars or whatever. You know, the norm. But the shit that hurt the most right after? My fucking pride, Slime. This was my first show since stepping out of CZE. Well not unless you count backyard and hella small indie joints. This was supposed to be like my biggest moment. Replicated all over again. From Small Pond to King of the ocean type shit. But I was coming off a mean loss. This big league shit wasn’t gonna be the piece of cake that I thought. So I dialed up Uncle A. He was normally good about getting me back in my headspace. When he wasn’t being a dickhead that is.
“Damn, Unc. Who pissed in your toothpaste this morning. I was just checking in. I can’t hit your line just to check up on you?”
“Cut the shit Jamie. You’re calling to see if I watched your match aren’t you?”
Damn Unc could always read me like a book. No matter how hard I bluff dude always had my number. But I’ll be damned if I admit it.
“I mean… I wasn’t. But since you bringing it up. Did you? I was out there stunting on hoes. Popped out in the shattered backboards too. Jaka 2 Fly. You know what I’m saying Unc?”
There was this awkward ass pause on the phone for like two seconds. Then A, sighed on the other side of the line.
“Jamie.”
Here we go.
Don’t get me wrong. Uncle A normally meant well. But he still had that African bluntness. He never believes I’m holding your tongue. I may have picked up a thing or two from him along the way. Aha. Anyways, as soon as he sighed, I knew what was up.
“You really called me to talk about the shoes you wore in the match you lost? I mean. Congrats for making it to another company I guess. But Jamie you already took the loss in your first match. For the championship at that.”
I rolled my eyes. And thank god we were on the phone when I did otherwise I would have gotten a smack upside the back of my head.
“I know Unc. But you know…”
“Exactly Jamie. I know. I know you. I know what you’re capable of. And I know you lose sight of what’s important during bigger fights. You always had that stutter. That hesitation. You’re just like your father.”
I started digging my nails into the palms of my hands. Something I did since I was young. It’s how I kept myself from flying off at the mouth. But Unc was pushing me. You can only take so much.
“Fuck off, A.”
“Now Jamie…”
“Nah. Cut that Jamie shit. You ain’t never thought I was ready for anything. You always say I’m gonna do big shit but when it comes times to do that shit, you don’t ever got my back. You say I’m just like Pops? Nah slime. Y’all grew from the same tree.”
There was an awkward silence over the phone. I’m not sure how long it lasted exactly. But I had time to roll up a quick joint and spark it before I spoke back up.
“Look Unc. Sorry. Shits just stressful right now. But you know me. I’m gonna bounce back stronger than ever. Easy.”
“Yeah I know Jamie. You know I’ve always been your biggest supporter. I’ve always said you’ve got the potential to be the next big thing. And I still think you do.”
“Thanks Unc. That means alo-“
“It’s just that, I want you to know… you’ve got a spot here at home working with us if things don’t exactly pan out. And that’s not saying I don’t want it to work out.”
“Then what the fuck are you saying?”
“Calm down. I’m just saying shit happens sometimes. You can run with the best of them. I know that already. Like deep down I know it. But what about that Iggy girl. She’s a champ already. What about that Lissie chick. Jamie, what about everybody else. You got that swagger. And yeah you’re a little cocky. At some point in life you better be ready to back it up. It’s sink or swim.”
“Bye Unc. Tell the family I said love. And tell J’Nike to cashapp me that money.”
“Don’t disappoint me Jamie. Because You don’t really have another option.”
“Fuck You.”
I hung up before he had a chance to respond. I know Uncle A means well most of the time. But dudes a dick. Condescending. Always treating me like I’m a kid. I’m a grown ass woman. I just Main Evented in for a Championship. That’s big dog shit. Like be happy for me. My life’s a movie right now. I’m a motherfucking star.
—————————————————-
“Got em rolling Jaka.”
Setting. Some low rent storage unit. Interior. The lighting is ass. Dust is flying throughout the air. And there are stacks of shoe boxes taking up most of the space. The recording camera quickly zooms in and out as it focuses on the woman of the hour, Big Jaka. She’s dressed in black leather pants cut into shorts, a black tank top, and a pair of shades which she takes off as she stands up from one of the boxes she was sitting on.
“Say less Slime. Good looks. Let me take a second. Get into character and all that…”
Jaka bows her head with her eyes closed. And the rest of her entourage chuckles somewhere off camera. Jaka can be seen cracking the tiniest smile. But as soon as one of her friends yells “Action!”, the smile vanishes as Big Jaka lifts her head.
“A ogun fun ogoro. Ọkan fun awọn iwe itan. Eyi jẹ ọkan.”
She pulls a joint from behind her ear, using it to point to the camera as she switches from Yoruba to English.
“What we got right here ladies and gents, is a one of a kind, once in a lifetime Nigerian Blockbuster. Yeah yeah. You already know me. The Jakillionaire. Miss It Is What It Is. The Sole Survivor. Taking on, my homegirl foreal if we being honest. The Delunatic. Lariat Tubman. The Mother Fucking Revolution. Iggy Deluna. I’m not going to waste your time putting it over. I don’t give a fuck about what you THINK the main event is. But this is it. Champ fights. Lizzy getting murked up. That’s gonna be some funny shit Slime. But all in all. In the grand scheme of things. This the money fight. We been putting this shit on since before our first matchup. Y’all know what’s good.”
Jaka pulls the joint up to her lips, lighting it with the lighter she seems to pull from thin air. She takes a few puffs. And inhales.
“Right now. I need to chop it up with Iggy.”
She exhales. A cloud of smoke passing her lips and filling the unit as she does so. She takes a few more hits before passing the joint to someone off camera.
“See Iggy. I love you. Really I do. But you already know I’m coming with that fire. And I’m not just talking about the kicks for this go around. And I know you bringing that heat too. That’s what you said at least. But are you really? We wanted this strap for strap. And I dropped the ball. I won’t cry say I got fucked over or no bullshit. I didn’t get the job done. Simple. So I said sit back with the strap for a while. We’ll duke it out for fun and shit. A little shindig or whatever. You got to relax a little bit. That grip on your belt loosened up a bit. I bet I can see the fingerprints from where you were holding it. And that’s cool. Like I said. That’s on me. But I need you to still come with that absolute heat Ig. That’s why we sliding with Grime rules. I can’t let you get-“
Jaka pauses looking over as the joint comes back around. She grabs it taking three long drags before handing it off again. She coughs about four times, and drinks from a grape Fanta before looking back at the camera.
“That shit some gas. Shoutout to Elevated Creations. The pre rolls hit Slime. But anyways. Like I was saying. I can’t let you get comfortable Ig! We want a Fucking Blockbuster. So I talked you into my house. My comfort zone. Put your back up against that wall again. No rules. No pins. No submissions. We might be going all night Slime. But I doubt it. Because I like you Iggy. Hell. I love you. You my mother fucking sister. So I’ll make this shit quick for you. I won’t pull the punches. I won’t give you no breathers. I’m getting grimey. All of that. Because my family watching. I’m sure yours is. Well not little E, maybe one day when she older she can watch back and look at this banger of a match. We can’t let them down.”
Jaka pauses as the joint is extended towards her again. She holds a finger up and looks back at the camera.
“So we all set up. The pieces in place. Shoes done been laced. All that’s left is to do the damn thing. Win or lose. I’m Gucci. I got my next money match. Lizzy and me on it. You lose this, and well. I don’t know. But I’m ready, Iggy. I hope you are. Don’t disappoint me. Because you don’t really have another option.”
Jaka grabs the joint, puts it in her mouth and pulls her lighter out again. The girl nods slightly before sparking up again as the camera fades out.
It had been a few days since Manson Family Values. I was aching. Bruised up. Beaten. Couple of scars or whatever. You know, the norm. But the shit that hurt the most right after? My fucking pride, Slime. This was my first show since stepping out of CZE. Well not unless you count backyard and hella small indie joints. This was supposed to be like my biggest moment. Replicated all over again. From Small Pond to King of the ocean type shit. But I was coming off a mean loss. This big league shit wasn’t gonna be the piece of cake that I thought. So I dialed up Uncle A. He was normally good about getting me back in my headspace. When he wasn’t being a dickhead that is.
“Damn, Unc. Who pissed in your toothpaste this morning. I was just checking in. I can’t hit your line just to check up on you?”
“Cut the shit Jamie. You’re calling to see if I watched your match aren’t you?”
Damn Unc could always read me like a book. No matter how hard I bluff dude always had my number. But I’ll be damned if I admit it.
“I mean… I wasn’t. But since you bringing it up. Did you? I was out there stunting on hoes. Popped out in the shattered backboards too. Jaka 2 Fly. You know what I’m saying Unc?”
There was this awkward ass pause on the phone for like two seconds. Then A, sighed on the other side of the line.
“Jamie.”
Here we go.
Don’t get me wrong. Uncle A normally meant well. But he still had that African bluntness. He never believes I’m holding your tongue. I may have picked up a thing or two from him along the way. Aha. Anyways, as soon as he sighed, I knew what was up.
“You really called me to talk about the shoes you wore in the match you lost? I mean. Congrats for making it to another company I guess. But Jamie you already took the loss in your first match. For the championship at that.”
I rolled my eyes. And thank god we were on the phone when I did otherwise I would have gotten a smack upside the back of my head.
“I know Unc. But you know…”
“Exactly Jamie. I know. I know you. I know what you’re capable of. And I know you lose sight of what’s important during bigger fights. You always had that stutter. That hesitation. You’re just like your father.”
I started digging my nails into the palms of my hands. Something I did since I was young. It’s how I kept myself from flying off at the mouth. But Unc was pushing me. You can only take so much.
“Fuck off, A.”
“Now Jamie…”
“Nah. Cut that Jamie shit. You ain’t never thought I was ready for anything. You always say I’m gonna do big shit but when it comes times to do that shit, you don’t ever got my back. You say I’m just like Pops? Nah slime. Y’all grew from the same tree.”
There was an awkward silence over the phone. I’m not sure how long it lasted exactly. But I had time to roll up a quick joint and spark it before I spoke back up.
“Look Unc. Sorry. Shits just stressful right now. But you know me. I’m gonna bounce back stronger than ever. Easy.”
“Yeah I know Jamie. You know I’ve always been your biggest supporter. I’ve always said you’ve got the potential to be the next big thing. And I still think you do.”
“Thanks Unc. That means alo-“
“It’s just that, I want you to know… you’ve got a spot here at home working with us if things don’t exactly pan out. And that’s not saying I don’t want it to work out.”
“Then what the fuck are you saying?”
“Calm down. I’m just saying shit happens sometimes. You can run with the best of them. I know that already. Like deep down I know it. But what about that Iggy girl. She’s a champ already. What about that Lissie chick. Jamie, what about everybody else. You got that swagger. And yeah you’re a little cocky. At some point in life you better be ready to back it up. It’s sink or swim.”
“Bye Unc. Tell the family I said love. And tell J’Nike to cashapp me that money.”
“Don’t disappoint me Jamie. Because You don’t really have another option.”
“Fuck You.”
I hung up before he had a chance to respond. I know Uncle A means well most of the time. But dudes a dick. Condescending. Always treating me like I’m a kid. I’m a grown ass woman. I just Main Evented in for a Championship. That’s big dog shit. Like be happy for me. My life’s a movie right now. I’m a motherfucking star.
—————————————————-
“Got em rolling Jaka.”
Setting. Some low rent storage unit. Interior. The lighting is ass. Dust is flying throughout the air. And there are stacks of shoe boxes taking up most of the space. The recording camera quickly zooms in and out as it focuses on the woman of the hour, Big Jaka. She’s dressed in black leather pants cut into shorts, a black tank top, and a pair of shades which she takes off as she stands up from one of the boxes she was sitting on.
“Say less Slime. Good looks. Let me take a second. Get into character and all that…”
Jaka bows her head with her eyes closed. And the rest of her entourage chuckles somewhere off camera. Jaka can be seen cracking the tiniest smile. But as soon as one of her friends yells “Action!”, the smile vanishes as Big Jaka lifts her head.
“A ogun fun ogoro. Ọkan fun awọn iwe itan. Eyi jẹ ọkan.”
She pulls a joint from behind her ear, using it to point to the camera as she switches from Yoruba to English.
“What we got right here ladies and gents, is a one of a kind, once in a lifetime Nigerian Blockbuster. Yeah yeah. You already know me. The Jakillionaire. Miss It Is What It Is. The Sole Survivor. Taking on, my homegirl foreal if we being honest. The Delunatic. Lariat Tubman. The Mother Fucking Revolution. Iggy Deluna. I’m not going to waste your time putting it over. I don’t give a fuck about what you THINK the main event is. But this is it. Champ fights. Lizzy getting murked up. That’s gonna be some funny shit Slime. But all in all. In the grand scheme of things. This the money fight. We been putting this shit on since before our first matchup. Y’all know what’s good.”
Jaka pulls the joint up to her lips, lighting it with the lighter she seems to pull from thin air. She takes a few puffs. And inhales.
“Right now. I need to chop it up with Iggy.”
She exhales. A cloud of smoke passing her lips and filling the unit as she does so. She takes a few more hits before passing the joint to someone off camera.
“See Iggy. I love you. Really I do. But you already know I’m coming with that fire. And I’m not just talking about the kicks for this go around. And I know you bringing that heat too. That’s what you said at least. But are you really? We wanted this strap for strap. And I dropped the ball. I won’t cry say I got fucked over or no bullshit. I didn’t get the job done. Simple. So I said sit back with the strap for a while. We’ll duke it out for fun and shit. A little shindig or whatever. You got to relax a little bit. That grip on your belt loosened up a bit. I bet I can see the fingerprints from where you were holding it. And that’s cool. Like I said. That’s on me. But I need you to still come with that absolute heat Ig. That’s why we sliding with Grime rules. I can’t let you get-“
Jaka pauses looking over as the joint comes back around. She grabs it taking three long drags before handing it off again. She coughs about four times, and drinks from a grape Fanta before looking back at the camera.
“That shit some gas. Shoutout to Elevated Creations. The pre rolls hit Slime. But anyways. Like I was saying. I can’t let you get comfortable Ig! We want a Fucking Blockbuster. So I talked you into my house. My comfort zone. Put your back up against that wall again. No rules. No pins. No submissions. We might be going all night Slime. But I doubt it. Because I like you Iggy. Hell. I love you. You my mother fucking sister. So I’ll make this shit quick for you. I won’t pull the punches. I won’t give you no breathers. I’m getting grimey. All of that. Because my family watching. I’m sure yours is. Well not little E, maybe one day when she older she can watch back and look at this banger of a match. We can’t let them down.”
Jaka pauses as the joint is extended towards her again. She holds a finger up and looks back at the camera.
“So we all set up. The pieces in place. Shoes done been laced. All that’s left is to do the damn thing. Win or lose. I’m Gucci. I got my next money match. Lizzy and me on it. You lose this, and well. I don’t know. But I’m ready, Iggy. I hope you are. Don’t disappoint me. Because you don’t really have another option.”
Jaka grabs the joint, puts it in her mouth and pulls her lighter out again. The girl nods slightly before sparking up again as the camera fades out.
