The Broken Heart of a Traitor

Flashes of blood and bone, an empty vessel in between its home. It wraps around my feet, pooling like wet cement.
I SINK
Clawing to get away, but every branch I hold onto breaks. WHERE DO I GO FROM HERE? Panic sets in and I start to shake.
LOATHING
CRUSHED by the weight of the terror. All life is reduced to stone. A beam of light pulls you above the ground, out of the water through the parted clouds. ALL LIFE is reduced to stone. I am withering at the helm.
SUFFOCATING
AND
OVERWHELMED
I hand you to GOD, carve your name. Everything burns, nothing remains. We are gathered here today under the pressure of a weary gaze.
HYDRATE THE GARDEN
decorate the grave
Lowered beneath the dirt, the trumpet toils for the blood I harvest. Flashes of blood and bone, an empty vessel in between its home.
GOD KNOWS
I BELONG TO HELL
that's why he left me here by myself
God knows..

CHAPTER ONE
The Broken Heart of a Traitor

"I would like to welcome you to the rebirth of a literal living legend in the flesh. The brightest star from millennia ago that allowed himself to become just another Faded Star lost adrift in a forgotten cold and dark galaxy. My name is Brandon Moore, and I am the black hole in the middle of it all that is going to suck you dry. Poor choice of words? Or a promise to be your guilty pleasure, to be consumed in the shadows that are my extension.. forever embracing you in the surreal comfort of all my lies. For so long my path in life was littered with constant crude fixations, lust and addictions. Violent, unapologetic chaos in the form of a supposed professional wrestler masquerading as such to legally do the bidding of a blackened heart that was shattered by a corrupt world that never gave a shit. How many metaphors is it going to take to make them understand? To make you, Owen Gonsalves, understand my plight and the opponent that you are ill prepared to fight."

There was a time when you would need to fear for your life. Now you'll just be embarrassed for the rest of that miserable life.

"It's like I'm sleepwalking on the edge of the world Owen.. and I haven't decided if I should sink or swim. Do I continue forging my path with narcissistic tendencies, and guarantees of superiority that previously only had been a time bomb of shit which always blew up in my face? Or do I try to take the road less traveled while cementing a new legacy? My mind is beaten into submission by this cloud of doubt hanging above my head, the downpour imagined as all of my tears and fears. My grip on reality is constantly slipping, and I forget which face I am supposed to wear at that given time. What the fuck does this have to do with wrestling?"

EVERYTHING

Do I have to break it down for you, simpleton?

"Some would view my unpredictability as a liability, but I am here to tell you that those people are wrong. I am the one true avatar of Brutality, of Chaos, and this is my gift. This is my curse. You can try and conceive which is worse. But for so long in my previous iteration in this business, I relied on nothing but brute force and violence to claw my way through the refuge and climb up the mountain to stand among Kings. Once upon a time I was as one with the Legends of this business. I was the equal of the mightiest of Goats and Gods. Now there is nothing to see here but a Pariah. The foster of abandon, and the definition of coming up just short. The old a day late and a dollar short shtick, except this wasn't a one liner or gimmick. I am the new breed of hero, far beyond the misconceptions of right, wrong, good and bad, and I am finally free of the burdened past that weighed down on my neck. My first breaths of clear, free air are more intoxicating than the narcotics that once frequently inhabited my body and I fell alive again."

For the very first time. This is the new shit. Enjoy the show.

"I am finally truly burnt to ash and reborn for the first time in several years, years spent deranged in a dream and covered in the soot of betrayal, hubris and hypocrisy. Now I lay that all to rest behind me and never look back, only looking ahead in the moment at what is next. And that is for now, you.. Owen. I don't have a clue about you, or who you are. And I probably should, but I am of the variety that loves the unknown, so I relish this opportunity to meet you properly with the exchanging of fists and sweat. You are privileged to be my first in this new era of my life, where I stand all on my own two feet. Tens toes tall. And there is a championship on the line, and it is finally a belt that is about more than violence and blood. It is a wrestling championship that for once is being offered to me so that I may showcase my true skill. Whether I win or lose doesn't really hold depth to me, as it is irrelevant in my goal. My goal is not to be the best in the world and infallible. My goal is to simply be better than I was the day before, and rewrite my own personal narrative. No more toxic big head and inflated ego to hold me down and keep me from achieving my true purpose."

I'm just here to prove that I belong. And I have the utmost confidence that after the bell rings for the finality of our dance, win or lose.. The name Brandon Moore will start to creep back into the collective consciousness of our business.. and all will be put on notice.

"Owen Gonsalves, it seems our tracks were destined to intertwine and guide us towards this head on collision. If you want my advice, just grab on and enjoy the ride while it lasts… there are no guarantees and nothing lasts forever. Now grab yourself a snack and drink n' shit, shut your damn mouth, and listen to my story."

All hail the downtrodden imbecile who was foolish enough to believe in himself and bet it all on a losing game. I sigh as I sit back in a chair at my desk in this empty building on Eulegeo Island, the former Liberty Island in New York, New York. What was once home to a budding family and inferno of love, was now nothing more than a desolate image of the American dream. My picture perfect romance with the love of my life, Michelle Riggs, had been the catalyst for my reignited flame that propelled me back to astonishing heights in the professional wrestling business. It had seemed that nothing could ever be an obstacle we wouldn't be able to overcome, but this complacency proved to be the devil in disguise, laying in wait just ready to pounce and tear my entire world apart. And it is like the old saying goes, "Bitches come.. and bitches go.."

My phone began to ring and vibrate on top of the desk for the fifth time in the last twenty minutes. I didn't know who it was, and right now I just didn't care, but the ringing would get stuck in my head. I would lose my mind.. if only it hadn't already been crushed under the weight of sheer disappointment. God bless the belief in oblivion as the days grow long coinciding with my thoughts that had become a prison. A prison of my own design, and I was struggling with figuring out if this was punishment or salvation. Because.. in here, I was safe from the unrelenting and brutal world that was just out beyond my sight like a venomous snake lying real still in the tall grass. It truly was a so-called safe space.. but I wasn't alone in here, as I was held in breath wrenching despair by fear without any signs of all this bullshit easing up.

These feelings held deep within me had wasted little time and effort becoming the source of this torture that not only has the capability to ill me.. but I would be lying if I didn't also mention that they thrilled me. My emotions were like a whirlwind sent with the mission of destroying all rational thinking, and we all know that this wasn't just some passing trend. My hand pulled open the desk drawer to my right, revealing a whole kadoodle of mind obliterating substances and blunts twisted up fatter than Vhodka Black's man's sweet and voluptuous ass.

My perilous life was a double edged sword that carved my bloody path to the top, but the downside is that its double edge also brings on the ruin that follows. This lighter can't seem to add flame to the blunt positioned between my lips quick enough, anxiety pounding like a drum and making me physically dumb. I need the sweet release of this flower's intoxicating swirling smoke to fill up my lungs and help me forget all of this.. Forget all of you.. An easier option lies just inches away to the left, a substance whose only purpose is to create such blissful neglect. But the last time I resorted to this measure, I lost all that I had begun to already slowly reachieve in a matter of hours.

With a deep inhale, I get my wish of peace, or at least the fleeting glimpse of apathy that marijuana provides to its user. My office door suddenly flings open, smashing into the wall. I lean back in my chair as my uncle Vladimir Putin marches in like he owns the place, a serious look on his face.

"God damnit comrade.." Oh boy.. here we go.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing leaving Fight NYC?" Daddy Vladdy paces over and takes a seat in front of me.

"It was time for a change, Unc.." Smoke departs from my mouth alongside the words, dissipating into the void. "There was.."

"Don't you go off whining again, boy, or I'll reach over this desk and slap your dick lick up off your face." He lashed out, interrupting me. "You completely fucked my plans up the ass Brandon. In case you forgot, you still have that collar around your neck. We own you." Vladdy goes from a stern calmness to an explosion of emotional rage. Almost like he was embarrassed. "AND WE AINT FUCKING PLEASED BOY!"

"Fuck it Unc, I ain't got the patience to sit hear and listen to this gas. Don't try and hold my life in balance with your hollow threats. Press the button and blow my head off bitch. Or shut your mouth." Now my feet are kicked up onto my desk, the weed smoke rolling.

"Heh.. you keep on playing Brandon. One day your usefulness will run out and your lack of respect will no longer be tolerated." Vladdy brushes the chronic away from swirling into his face, red tint painting his face with displeasure.

"Look Unc.. you tell the boys that I had to do this. I had to get out from under the thumb of my bullshit wife, and best friend, and those people up at the top. CU:LT is giving me a chance to prove I am more than just the bloodthirsty animal Fight had turned me into. That doesn't change a damn thing about this slave collar around my freaking neck." I stopped and a tense thought flatlined my vision, my stomach getting tight as reality was able to somehow break through my defenses to make me feel hopeless again.

Ring, ring.

My phone on the desk lit up vibrating, pulling me back into the ease of comfort. I grab hold of it and give it a little shake to keep the screen alive. The caller ID read, "Stacked Black", and it wasn't a reference to Vhodka's tits. Yano.. she.. doesn't have any. It was that thirsty Vincent, again, just dying to be my friend.

"Who is it?" Vladdy butts into my privacy, like the unkempt fuck that he is.

"Who you think Unc?" I toss him the phone.

"Vincent Black?" He tossed the phone back onto the desk.

"Tell that pussy boy to go piss up a rope."

"What the fuck did you say about that sweet and adorable piece of fuck? You better shut your God damn mouth. Ain't nobody can talk about my boo like that but me, you heard?" Um.. sorry.. I have no fuggin clue where that came from.

"Well.. I guess Vhodka's cunt ass can take a few licks. Just save some sloppy for the rest of us sista.."

Uncle Vladdy gives me a dumb, blank expression as he shakes his head in silence while departing. I was finally alone again, descending into the desecration of my mind as I look forward to what tomorrow may bring..

Owen Gonsalves was the only subject to attract my wandering mind.

This was my new beginning.

Don't ever let them tell you that you've run out of time.

fin