Deathmatch Does Dallas
Big Match Breakdown
Hey it’s me again, Karl Childers, fresh off of what was CU:LT’s lowest buyrate… Gringos Gone Wild… that could be because Casanova English didn’t book the card… or simply fragile white egos. Regardless, we are trying to pick up more momentum as we make our way to Japan in November by stopping off with a huge show in Texas on Halloween night… Deathmatch Does Dallas! And we have the biggest main event booked to date when newly crowned New World Champion JD Driftwood aims to defend his title against former champions Donnie Hopkins and Jane Doe along with hometown favourite Lissie Hope in a 4-way Deathmatch. So lets start this month’s edition of Big Match Breakdown.
Special Guest Referee Azurine Vebbins
Alice Gemini vs Holden Ross
The idea of Alice Gemini losing anytime soon really hasn’t crossed my mind, but she is in the ring with a monster who was off an equally dominating win at Gringos Gone Wild – cannonballing through the side of a steel cage. Then you have Azurine Vebbins. I don’t even know how to explain her – but honestly she is off a huge win too completely dominating her opponent at the last show. I don’t know how she will factor into this match, or what is will sound like in her unique dialect as she counts to three… but I know she could be on the receiving end of an angry Ross of Gemini depending on the outcome and that isn’t somewhere you want to be. Alice, I could talk her up for hours. She has 3 wins in 2 events and is well on her way to lighting up at FIGHT Championship and cashing in for the top prize. I know Ross is hungry for a championship, but I also know Alice doesn’t mind sinking her teeth in… and she might make a meal out of the big man.
First Blood Triple Threat
Iggy Deluna vs Aubrey Mack vs Serenity Holmes
It’s a redebut for one of the biggest fan favorites in CU:LT’s short life span as Iggy Deluna returns to take on two debuting wrestlers, Aubrey Mack and Serenity Holmes – who is probably aiming to be known more then Holden Ross’ girlfriend. This one is process of elimination, you get cut up and you are out. I don’t think any of them have a particular strategic advantage going in – in fact I think it could be a great pure wrestling contest even though it’s taking palace under first blood rules. Mack is very talented between the ropes, Holmes is savvy herself, but I think Iggy returns with a bang – rips someones’’ head off lariat and pick up her long awaited first CU:LT win.
Trick or Treat Match
Addy A vs Max Daemon
Bags surround the ring, open them up to see if they are a delightful treat, a weapon to hurt your opponent with, or a trick, something to throw you off your game.
These two are running back a great match from Gringos Gone Wild, a highlight of a pretty lacklustre show. Addy barely pulled off a win against the fist SNUFF Champion and he is more determined as ever to get his title back. Addy has been really impressive, but with the unpredictability of this match I have to give the edge to Daemon. He thinks outside the box like when he first won the title at Manson Family Values by stealing someone else's blood in the pint of blood match to get himself the win. It won’t be an easy task, but I think if Addy gets a trick rather than a team Max won’t give her the opportunity to recover
Justin York vs Ace Sky
Justin York had a great match back after a brutal loss and almost being killed by the company’s owner, but it was the mysterious masked wrestler Señor Mascara who came out on top. Ace Sky had another amazing and acrobatic showing, but he was also dealt a loss in the same match. I know York is just viewing this match as a stepping stone into getting revenge on Señor Mascara for the loss, but to look past Ace Sky is a mistake. He has proved he has what it takes to win, in his losses he has been pretty unlucky with other opponents often taking the pinfall. After Chris Page backing out of their match at Gringos Gone Wild this is another chance for him to be in a high profile contest and the high flying style of both will make this a must watch. I think York is a little too motivated to take another loss at this point though, so Sky is going to have to use that education of his and try to outsmart The Casino Kid.
Double Homicide Championships
Three Ring Barney vs Strike 2 Kill
It’s pretty simple – it’s a match in a graveyard where anything goes. Pin, submit, or bury your opponent alive to win the match.
Three Ring Barney is back on top baby! All is right in the tag team division after the Double Homicide Championships have been swapped around. Strike 2 Kill made a hell of an impact at Gringos Gone Wild though attacking the Dawson Brothers and ending their in ring career before it even started. I think this team is going to bring a fight to Luna and Royston here – but I think after being dethroned by Cogan and Crawford, Three Ring Barney understands they can’t underestimate anyone in this company. It’ll be a hard fought battle, but I don’t see Three Ring dropping the belts again so soon. Regardless, the winners will finge the BillaBong Boys… or whatever in Tokyo… Why is English giving these guys the opportunity to challenge for the belts in Japan… I will never understand…
Vincent Black vs Noah Ortega
The fatal four way elimination match at Gringos Gone Wild delivered and it was Vincent Black getting Noah Ortega to tap out in the end… securing himself as the CU:LT Classic Champion. The question in every wrestling fan’s mind at the end of the night was… what if this was a one on one match? Noah Ortega has yet to lose a singles match and now there are no distractions; it might be a whole different tale. Black hasn’t been very confident in himself, Noah on the other hand has… and if Vincent doesn’t find the motivation he needs we could see him as a transitional champion with Ortega continuing his rise to greatness.
Devil’s Pitchfork Match
Craig Cogan vs Adrienne Beaufort
Each competitor will be armed with a pitchfork they can use as the only legal weapon in the match.
It’s a strange placement for this match, but you gotta break up the big ones with something… so hey, Craig Cogan found himself a spot on the card and will take on Adrienne Beaufort in a Devil’s Pitchfork Match… this is some campy shit right here but I think it will be great to break up the show I just hope Cogan doesn’t take his own eye out on the way to Beaufort’s win.
Fatal 4-Way Deathmatch
New World Championship
JD Driftwood vs Donnie Hopkins vs Lissie Hope vs Jane Doe
This is the big one, a do or die for JD Driftwood in what will be the hardest title defence for a champion yet. He was able to win the New World Championship after he was stripped of the title earlier in the night at Gringos Gone Wild, but on paper he will be recognized as a double champion for a brief period. Donnie Hopkins just hasn’t been himself and that bled into things at Gringos Gone Wild. JD was able to take advantage of Donnie’s apparent health issues. This is going to be a tough one for Donnie if that is the case and he’ll have to pick his spot. Jane Doe reappeared at Gringos Gone Wild attacking Donnie at the end of the show and making her interest in the championship clear. She was easily the most dominant World Champion to date. Then we have Lissie Hope – who would be champion if English didn’t screw her out of the title at Summer of Slam. It’s the biggest name in CU:LT all in one ring. All motivated to walk out New World Champion. No one in this match is undefeated, but JD’s loss came at his very first match in a situation where he wasn’t able to play to his strengths. I think somehow Driftwood retains and claims his spot at king shit of deathmatch.