Post by Casanova English on Apr 1, 2023 19:55:42 GMT
Episode One:
“Measure of Man”
A low rumble.
The sound of thousands and thousands of pounds of steel forcing itself along a path of concrete.
The grinding steadily increases in volume until it becomes a deafening roar - the sound of thousands and thousands of pounds of steel dragging itself along the concrete. The world trembles as the source of the noise draws closer.
Glass shatters
A crash.
Then the screams…
The camera opens up panning over the over dimly-lit arena, the screaming now blending in with the sound of the raucous cheers, the pounding the anxious fans feet and fists beckoning the violence to commence. The fans are packed tightly around the ring, their faces painted with intense expressions, and their fists pumping in the air. As the camera moves closer to the ring, a voice booms over the loudspeaker.
CASANOVA: What is the measure of man?
The fans erupt into a frenzy of cheers, their ferocity drowning out even the PA system as they bang on the guardrails, chanting.
LE-THAL TRI-ALS!
CLAP - CLAP. CLAP - CLAP - CLAP.
LE-THAL TRI-ALS!
The camera zooms in on the ring - a simple ring - a set of three ropes, strung across steel posts, and a mat that looks like it's seen better days - the bloodstains of combatants of the past like souvenirs sprinkled along the logo that has brought this legion of ravenous fans to the arena. Suddenly, the lights in the arena dim, and the sound of a heartbeat fills the air. The fans fall silent, as a spotlight shines on a figure standing at the entrance to the arena.
It's Casanova English.
As the scarred smile lifts, the arena erupts once more. He watches - reveling in their bloodlust. They begin to settle to a gentle rumble, and he lifts the microphone to his lips.
CASANOVA: In school, we are told to measure a man by what he becomes, but we tell him to treasure the trials.
Casanova is forced to stop once again as the crowd roars to life once more.
LE-THAL TRI-ALS!
CLAP - CLAP. CLAP - CLAP - CLAP.
LE-THAL TRI-ALS!
He paces the ring, his eyes fixed on the crowd.
ENGLISH: Remember these moments, they say, and never forget from where you came. It’s only once we find ourselves in the middle of these moments do we realize that it’s not the end that matters, but the path that leads us there. Life measures us - it tests us - and then it ends. With that understanding, we can see that the results are simply a satisfaction - a trophy - and a trap. When we walk blindly towards those goals, pushing towards a path - what often matters is not what we want and what we mean, but how we react when the finish line moves, meanders, or merely fades away.
As English finishes speaking, a member of the crowd rushes over the barricade, pushing past the yellow shirted staff member that tries to stop him, sliding in behind the Unprofessional. Casanova does not seem to notice the man rushing his way, however, just as he almost connects the lights cut out.
The arena rumbles again in the darkness, the audience booming incensed again, anxious to see the violence begin. As their chants reach a crescendo, the lights return and Casanova has disappeared from the ring and has been replaced by the seven foot monster Bash Daddy, his massive paw firmly wrapped around the man's throat. He fights back, throwing wild punches, but Bash remains unfazed, absorbing each blow like they were mere tickles.
The crowd continues to roar as Bash lifted the man into the air, driving him backwards towards the rope before putting his full weight behind the push. With a roar from the crowd, Bash ejects the man over the top rope, causing the Spanish announcer table to explode around the battered man, the arena shaking as the impact echoes throughout the building and the crowd erupts once more.
CASANOVA(PA): Ladies and Gentlemen…
Bash Daddy looks down at the still man, the crowd chanting wildly once more.
LE-THAL TRI-ALS!
CLAP - CLAP. CLAP - CLAP - CLAP.
LE-THAL TRI-ALS!
CASANOVA(PA): Let the Trials begin.
The scene fades and the opening credits start….
The camera pans once more over the arena, the sold-out stadium stacked with rows and rows of bodies, their shoulders pressing into one another. This caged feeling has lit a fury in the crowd, the commentators having to almost yell to be heard over the consistent shouting, slamming, and air sirens. A person in the ground can distinctly be heard shouting, ‘Go fuck yourself you fucking prick’’. Due to the absolute vulgarities and obscenities explored in six-inch black sharpie and neon pasteboard, many of the signs speckling the crowd have been edited in post.
Coming to a stop ringside, it settles on the two commentators, Stacey Sting who has put on a pinstriped button-down dress suit, while her cohort has a more Texas business casual look, complete with a bolo tie. Stacey beams proudly into the camera, leaning forward as the throng of cultists behind her push and shove their way forward a moment on the screen.
STING: Hello everyone, I am Stacey Sting and I am here as always with the infamous, the incoherent, the insufferable: Bill FOOTE.
FOOTE: Why thank you Stacy, you are just as sweet as you look.
Bill FOOTE sneers her way, taking a drink the coffee mug that features none other than his own smug smile.
STING: And you are just as drunk as you smell. Enough pleasantries, which is exactly what Bill's father said to his sister after sharing a tube of airplane glue before bending her over the horse stall for a hayride, it looks like we’re ready to kick off the action in the ring.
Cut to ring.
The BFFS vs The Boomstick Twins
A clang of the well worn bell signals the start of the match as the two teams are already in the ring. The match begins with Jackie Sullivan, representing the BFFs, and Bellatrix Kash in for the Twins. They circle each other, and Bella springs forward, catching Sullivan off guard - starting off strong with a snapmare takedown followed by a kick to the downed Sullivan's spine. Bella then goes for a running kick, but Jackie rolls free. The powerhouse pops back to her feet - retaliating with a big boot to Bella's face, flooring her. Sullivan drags her by one arm to their corner, tagging in Paul Freedom.
STING: Stay fresh. Stay active.
FOOTE: Stay clean.
STING: Obviously not your motto.
FOOTE: How do you mean?
Paul enters the ring and picks up Bella, hitting her with a sloppy knee to the gut, before (accidentally) slamming her to the mat with a suplex/spinebuster/hurricanrana botch variant. He then goes for a quick cover, but Bella kicks out at one. Paul pulls Bella upright again and hits her with a snap suplex - with most of the snap likely coming later with his chiropractor due to the wild angle his back takes - before tagging Jackie back in.
STING: Quick tags and a smart decision to keep the twins off their feet.
FOOTE: And to keep this Paul guy out of the ring! Eavan doesn’t stand a chance.
STING: That’s Bella.
Jackie comes in looking to hit Bella with a running back elbow, but Bella quickly steps out of the way. Bella then tags in Eavan, who enters the ring like a rocket, taking to the top rope and and hitting Jackie with a dropkick. Quick back to her feet, however, Jackie catches another set of boots, bringing her crashing once more to the mat. Eavan steps back, pushing off the ropes before driving her own elbow straight down into Sullivan's chest. She starts to cover, but as Huffman begins the count, she lifts Sullivan's head before laughing at the surprised referee.
FOOTE: Bold decision by Bella to toy with the referee, let’s see if it pays off.
STING: That’s Eavan
Eavan picks Jackie by the hair, pulling her into a close headlock before grinding her fist directly into Jackie’s eye. Seeing her victim trying to fight her way free, Eavan adjusts her weight for the hip toss but Jackie lands on her feet and honing in finally with the back elbow, staggering her. She then goes for a clothesline, but Eavan ducks and hits the turning Jackie with a spinning heel kick causing her to spin to the ground. Eavan then tags Bella back in, and the twins watch and wait as Jackie rises before hitting a double dropkick.
STING: The Twins doing a fantastic job of keeping Jackie down, a little payback from the beginning!
FOOTE: Was that line scripted?
Bella goes for the cover, but Paul is able to break it up at the last second, receiving a flying boot of his own as thanks as Eavan moves to protect her sister. The two tumble over the top rope and begin to brawl on the outside, to the absolute delight of the ringside fans.
LE-THAL TRI-ALS!
CLAP - CLAP. CLAP - CLAP - CLAP.
LE-THAL TRI-ALS!
Paul rams Eavan into the barricade, and Bella meanwhile goes for a flying cross body, but Jackie sees her coming in time to catch her, plowing her down hard before going for the cover. Eavan breaks it up with a springboard elbow drop, right to the back of Sullivan’s skull. Eavan then hits Jackie with a double foot stomp, grabbing her sister's hand to pull her on top. Huffman moves to count the cover, but Paul now breaks it up.
FOOTE: Gotta stop the break up, no matter what.
STING: Very Dean Martin of you.
Bella goes for the Irish whip, but Jackie slides under the rope, pulling herself back onto the apron. As Bella rushes towards her, she is met with a thunderous forearm. Sullivan, showing a little of everything now, tugging herself up to the top rope, balancing, then exploding forward. Jackie’s knees connect with Bella’s clavicle, driving her back into the mat.
STING: Supernova!
FOOTE: Jackie manages to make the tag.
Eavan, seeing her estranged sister in danger, moves to intercept but Jackie catches her in a bear hug as Paul Freedom, the absolute pinnacle of professional wrestling prowess pulls himself up to the top rope.
STING: He might be goi-
FOOTE: IMPRESSIVE DISPLAY OF AGILITY.
Without even a second of hesitation, he flings himself into a wild 450 somersault, his knee coming down hard onto Bellatrix. Paul hooks the leg and the audience - never having sat down in the first place, erupts - driving the guard rail a few inches closer to the ring.
CULT! CULT! CULT! CULT! CULT!
CHILDERS: Here are your winners,the B-EFF-EFFS!
Jackie releases Eavan who rushes to check on her sister, cradling her limp head against her thigh. She glares up as the two friends, the two BEST friends, meet in the center of the ring. Paul grabs Jackie’s hand, lifting it into the air.
The scene opens back up, the camera now centered on Bill Foote, who takes a sip from his coffee mug. A fan tried to reach for him, but one of the yellow shirts shoved him back. Beginning to feel the fervor, the fan pushes back and a small scuffle begins just behind him. He tried to smile, but a body bounces against the barrier, bumping the buffoon. His smile fades, a hand reaching out to gently push the camera to the side.
FOOTE: Excuse me.
There is a loud smash and the crowd roars with approval. The camera returns back to FOOTE - minus one mug - who adjusts his bolo tie before beginning again.
FOOTE: I don’t know about you, but I don’t quite understand why there are so many different flavors of Oreos in the store these days. When I was growing up, you had your Oreos and your Double Stuffed and if you bought your lunch at school like a good American, sometimes you’d get a little tinfoil two pack. Now, there’s Chocolate Cream, Golden Cake, Cookies and Cream - and I challenge one of you left winged liberal leprechauns to tell me in no uncertain terms how that’s not just an Oreo-flavored Oreo. My point is this - what’s the point? Why can’t an Oreo be an Oreo and a peanut butter cookie be a peanut butter cookie? That’s all I’m saying.
STACY: What the fuck is wrong with you?
FOOTE: I have gout.
JJ Slayer(C) v. Jennie Fenix
CU:LT Classic Championship
Karl Childers steps towards the center of the ring, his flamboyant outfit demanding the attention of the most demonic of crowds. His sequined jacket shimmers in the bright lights and his tight leather pants and black boots complete the daring ensemble. As he lifts the microphone hesitantly, he adjusts his bowtie and strikes a power pose - something he had learned recently from a Ted Talk. Unbelievably, this causes the boiling pot to simmer for a second. Quiet at first, his overly reversed demeanor seems to start to give into the fervor.
CHILDERS: Ladies and Gentlemen….Introducing first, the challenger for the Combat Unlimited Lethal Trials Cllllaaasic CHAMPIONSHIP. From Hartford Connecticut, weighing in at 121 pooooooounds - THE LEGO LORD HERSELF - JENNIE FUCKKKKKKKKKKKING FEEEENIIXXXXX!
“Boss Bitch” by Doja Cat begins to play and Jennie Fenix steps out onto the ramp. The cheerful woman has a suddenly determined look on her face, not stopping even to interact with a single fan. She is focused, ready, and intent to see through the moments she has visualized in her mind. Jennie pats Huffman on his arm, before silently stepping to her corner. She rotates her wrists, her eyes focused on the mat in front of her.
LE-THAL TRI-ALS!
CLAP - CLAP. CLAP - CLAP - CLAP.
LE-THAL TRI-ALS!
CHILDERS: ANNNNND on his way to the ring, the man who needs no introduction but I will introduce anyway! From Los Angeles California, weighing it at 255 pounds - he is the hunter! He is the killer! He is the COMBAT UNLIMITED LETHAL TRIALS CLASSIC CHAMPIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON - JJ SLAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYER
FOOTE: Look at big boy Childers go.
All Eyes On You by Smash Into Pieces begins to play as JJ Slayer makes his way onto the entrance ramp, the CU:LT Classic title belt around his waist. After a brief pause to yell towards the cheering crowd Slayer rushes down the ramp, sliding into the ring sunder the bottom rope. Slayer stands, looking Jennie over with a nod of respect before handing the belt over to the referee and moving to his corner to await the start of the bout.
FOOTE: Who do you have money on?
STING: I’m almost positive that’s illegal.
FOOTE: (covering the microphone but still audible) Who do you have money on?
Jennie springs into action, coiling back like a snake before she launches herself at Slayer with a spinning wheel kick. The surprise attack catches him off guard, and he stumbles backwards. Quick as a flash, Jennie follows up with a series of lightning-fast arm drags that send Slayer reeling. However, the champ quickly regains his composure, seizing the much smaller Fenix and hurling her backwards with brute force. Gasping for air, Jennie rolls backwards, her eyes locking onto Slayer as he waves her in.
Gritting her teeth, she rises to her feet, determined to meet the challenge head-on. With a fierce determination in her eyes, she charges towards Slayer, throwing a rapid flurry of blows that force the larger man to cover up. Despite the size difference, Jennie refuses to back down, her lithe form darting around Slayer as she lands blow after blow. The audience roars in approval as she lands a devastating uppercut, sending Slayer staggering backwards. Undeterred, Jennie presses the attack, her movements fluid and precise as she seeks to outstrip her opponent.
STING: He asked for it.
Despite Jennie's blistering fast-paced striking, Slayer proves to be even faster than he appears, snatching one of her fists in his massive, meaty palm. The sound of flesh hitting flesh echoes through the small venue as he drives his open palm across her upper chest in a thunderous chop, the impact reverberating through the air. The storm rising, the thunder rumbles not once, but two, three times more as the lightning-like backhands pound into the Siren, each strike hitting with bone-crunching force.
Jennie struggles to stay on her feet, but Slayer is relentless, each blow driving her closer to the mat. Slayer whips Jennie into the ropes and catches her with another hard chop, sending her sprawling to the canvas. She lands with a thud, her breath knocked out of her as she gasps for air. Slayer moves in for the kill, going for the pin, but Jennie manages to summon her last reserves of strength, kicking out at the last possible moment.
STING: You can just see the welts starting to rise on her chest.
FOOTE: Now if I say absolutely anything, I am the one who is in the wrong.
STING: Why can’t you be normal?
FOOTE: I have gout.
With slow and measured movements, Slayer lifts Jennie back to her feet, the muscles in his massive arms bulging with effort as he hefts her onto his broad shoulder. But just when it seems like he has her under control, Jennie seizes her moment, executing a perfect hurricanrana that sends the big man crashing to the mat. She follows up with a series of rapid-fire straight kicks that pummel Slayer's chest and stomach. However, he manages to catch one of her feet, his grip like a vice.
In a split second decision, Jennie unleashes a devastating flash kick that forces her way free, sending Slayer staggering backwards. Almost losing his balance, Slayer wobbles on his feet, his breathing labored as he struggles to regain his footing. Seizing her opportunity, Jennie leaps onto the second row of ropes, soaring through the air towards the champion. With catlike reflexes, Slayer catches her mid-flight, his massive arms wrapping around her slender frame like steel cables. In one fluid motion, he rotates his body and slams Jennie down onto the mat with a fierce spine buster, the impact rattling the ring and sending shockwaves through the air.
FOOTE: She was asking for it!
STING: What is wrong with you?
Jennie kicks out again at two. Slayer stomps down onto her, showing his frustration for a moment, before regaining his composure - helping her back up to her feet. The olive branch is broken when he puts her back down with a high, overhead belly-to-belly. He follows up with another crushing suplex, the force of the impact rattling the entire ring. As he goes for the third, Jennie summons all her strength and flips over, landing nimbly on her feet with an agility that belies her small size. Before Slayer can react, Jennie lashes out with a lightning-fast dropkick straight to his knee, sending the big man staggering backwards. Taking advantage of his momentary weakness, she sets off at a frenzied pace, throwing a barrage of punches and kicks that slowly chip away at his defenses. As Slayer begins to totter on his feet, Jennie sets off for a two-step kick, her foot arcing towards his head. But with a burst of adrenaline, the big man catches her in mid-air, his powerful arms lifting her high before slamming her down with an explosive powerbomb that reverberates through the ring. Jennie lies crumpled on the mat, dazed and battered, as Slayer quickly moves in for the pin. JJ Huffman rushes over to make the count, his hand slapping down on the mat as the crowd holds its breath in anticipation.
ONE!
TWO!
THRE-!
FOOTE: IT’S OVE- NO! Her foot is on the rope!
Spotting the foot at the last moment, Huffman calls for the match to continue. Slayer's expression of disbelief slowly fixates on the referee as he stares down at him, convinced that he was robbed of his victory. Meanwhile, Fenix tries to regroup and catch her breath, her entire body throbbing with pain from the brutal slam. Jennie's eyes start to glaze over, disoriented from the impact, and she struggles to focus as the towering figure looms over her once more. With an almost merciful smile, Slayer hoists her up again, effortlessly lifting her into the air with one arm under her leg and the other pulling back, stretching her body to its limits. The crowd holds its breath as they watch in awe, wondering how much more punishment the small but resilient fighter can endure. Finally, with a savage roar, Slayer hoists her limp and battered body into the air…
STING: This could be a Violent End…no, Jennie is able to wriggle free.
FOOTE: That’s why I use two hands.
Jennie swings her body over his shoulder, bringing the big man down. She stacks his legs over his shoulder, dropping her legs down into his arms for leverage. Huffman, slides in making the count.
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!!!
FOOTE: Kick out!
STING: IT'S TOO LATE! IT'S TOO LATE! JENNIE DID IT! JENNIE DID IT!
FOOTE: Get down off the table, what is wrong with you?!
STING: SHUT THE FUCK UP! JENNIE DID IT!
The crowd becomes suddenly silent for the first time of the evening, before erupting in a deafening cacophony of cheers and boos as Huffman rushes over to the fallen Jennie, still struggling to catch her breath - lifting her hand and declaring her the new champion. Slowly, she pulls herself up to a sitting position, staring at Huffman in disbelief.
CHILDERS: Ladies and gentles, the NEW Combat Unlimited Lethal Trials Classic Champion, JENNIE FEEEEEENIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIXXXX!!!
HOLY SHIT!
HOLY SHIT!
HOLY SHIT!
FOOTE: Jennie may want to turn around.
As Jennie stares down at the belt, her face still a mask of disbelief, the massive man steps up behind her, towering over her. She turns - the two face-to-face. Rules, the responsibilities, and the very requirements of society suddenly shoved aside for a moment…
Slayer extends his arm to her - she looks down, not hesitating for a moment to clasp back.
…of respect.
SLAY-ER! SLAY-ER! SLAY-ER!
JJ Slayer, having now earned the cultists respect, waves his hand towards them. He lifts Jennie’s hands, almost pulling her off the ground, pointing a finger in her direction as she raises the CU:LT Classic Championship.
FE-NIX! FE-NIX! FE-NIX!
FOOTE: What an incredible ripoff!
STING: What an incredible match, and for anyone who didn’t participate in insider trading can see that this match may very well be in the books for one of THE best battles of the year.
Some time ago..
In Casanova’s office..
CASANOVA: Don’t get me wrong, teams are always a need in this space. I’m just wondering what it is that you do for me.
?: I..direct.
CASANOVA: Riiight.
?: You have a certain craving that you cater to here, as do I. We’re more alike than you might think in that regard.
CASANOVA: Still a bit confused on how your pitch checks our boxes, but continue.
?: It’s simple. I get my show, you get yours.
CASANOVA: Hmm..we’ll see how they fare, I suppose.
?: You won’t regret it.
In Casanova’s office..
CASANOVA: Don’t get me wrong, teams are always a need in this space. I’m just wondering what it is that you do for me.
?: I..direct.
CASANOVA: Riiight.
?: You have a certain craving that you cater to here, as do I. We’re more alike than you might think in that regard.
CASANOVA: Still a bit confused on how your pitch checks our boxes, but continue.
?: It’s simple. I get my show, you get yours.
CASANOVA: Hmm..we’ll see how they fare, I suppose.
?: You won’t regret it.
Double Homicide Championship
Trios Deathmatch
Three Ring Barney vs The Walkers
Trios Deathmatch
Three Ring Barney vs The Walkers
CHILDERS: Introducing first, the challengers for the DOUBLE HOMICIDE CHAMPIONSHIIIIIIIP, representing America's favorite family - Abby, Will, and Robert - they are THE WALKKKKKKKERS!!
The Walkers’ cheerful theme plays through the area as the screen cuts to various shots of the family members smiling and performing exaggerated, joyous freeze frames as their names pop up one by one. While the theme plays out, the family steps out from backstage, waving to the crowd. Ready for more bone-on-bone brawling, the arena erupts with applause, ready to see America's Favorite family join the world’s favorite Cults.
A shrill whistle erupts, the fans forcing themselves forward, pressing flesh into steel. The barricades screech in protest as they are dragged along the concrete, the horde groping for them as they find their way down the ramp. On the big screen, the final logo reading "THE WALKERS" is plastered over a group picture of the family and feed cuts to the ring where the father, daughter, son trio is ready to go, standing and waving towards Alice, who wears a plastic smile and six-inch heels as she cheers them on.
CHILDERS: AND THE BADDEST BUNCH IN THE BIN - THEY ARE THE ONE, THE ONLY, THE COMBAT UNLIMITED LETHAL TRIALS DOUBLE HOMICIDE CHAMPIONS - THREE - RING BARNEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!
The crowd, never more quiet than the rumble of riot, settle as much as they are able. The lights cut, a pair of spotlights landing on the ring and they become enraged again - calling their champions forth as the opening chords to the Arctic Monkeys The View from the Afternoon begins. First out is Luna, sinking out, belt around her neck. She stops, doing a small box step before spinning to present her partners, Chester Roosevelt and Royston Popplewell. She skips around them, waving her arms in front of the Double Homicide Championships that adorn their waists. A crowd favorite, the long time champions slowly pace down the ring, slapping aside any wanting fanatics.
They stop at the edge of the ring, staring down Alice who holds her hands up, not dressed to fight as she steps back and presents her hand towards the stairs. They start up them, Luna jumping at her, laughing to herself before following the boys. They hold the rope for her, but she leaps over the top. Roosevelt shakes his head. The champions, center themselves in the ring and raise the belts high into the air before handing off the belts.
FOOTE: I am in love with her I think.
STING: What?
FOOTE: I have gout.
The bell rings, and Abby and Luna step out of their corners, circling each other with cautious intent. They finally engage in a tie-up, their muscles straining as they jostle for position. Luna's body moves like a serpent, gracefully dipping her hip and effortlessly gaining the upper hand, wrenching Abby's head into a tight headlock. Abby grits her teeth, but the pressure on her neck is too much, and she falls to one knee. Abby quickly scrambles back to her feet, shaking off the cobwebs and charges towards Luna, her arm cocked back for a running lariat. But Luna is one step ahead, ducking and spinning, before landing a perfect dropkick to Abby's midsection. The impact of the move sends Abby stumbling backwards, gasping for air, while Luna nimbly bounces back to her feet, ready for more. Seizing the opportunity, Luna quickly makes her way to her corner and tags in her partner, Royston.
STING: Smart move from the champs.
Abby moves in to try and cut him off but he picks her up in a powerful bear hug, squeezing the air out of her lungs. Abby gasps and struggles, but Royston's grip only tightens. With a headbutt, Abby manages to slip out of his grasp, delivering a swift backhand to his jaw. Royston stumbles back, momentarily stunned, giving Abby the opportunity to leap towards him. But as she launches herself through the air, Royston's massive arms close around her again, hoisting her up with ease in a high overhead belly-to-belly suplex.
Abby bounces off the canvas, her body wracked with pain. Royston goes in for the cover, but Abby digs deep and manages to kick out at two, her determination keeping her in the fight.
FOOTE: This is why they are the best in the business.
STING: I’m spooked we aren’t disagreeing.
FOOTE: The world is a simulation.
Abby gets free and tag in Will, who enters the ring with a cocky grin which is quickly replaced with a look of pain as he writhes on the mat. Royston wastes no time, quickly grabbing Will and bringing him down with a powerful short arm lariat that sends him tumbling to the canvas. Chester is tagged in, towering over the downed Will. He lifts him up with ease, slamming him down hard with a running powerslam. The impact reverberates throughout the ring, leaving Will dazed and barely conscious. Royston goes for the cover, but Abby manages to break it up just in time. However, her respite is short-lived as Luna pounces on her, driving her to the ground and launching a barrage of punches. The two women roll out of the ring, fiercely exchanging blows as the crowd roars with excitement.
STING: Will, in the chaos, rolls Chester up with a school boy! One…two-
FOOTE: Aaaand a one-two combo for his efforts.
Chester tags in Royston as Will scrambled to tag in his dad and the two begin to exchange blows, each trying to gain an advantage. Royston ducks a wide right, lifting Robert - to the horror of Alice - for a torture rack, but Robert manages to slip out and hit him with a jumping leg lariat. Royston goes down, and Robert begins to follow up with a series of punches, but Royston manages to roll out of the way and tag in Luna. Luna enters the ring ready, running full speed toward Robert. Taken by surprise, Luna begins to hit him with a series of kicks, starting with the shin then working up his body. Robert goes down, and Luna goes for a cover, but Robert manages to kick out. Luna tagged in Royston, holding his Roberts arms back to allow an unguarded short uppercut. Royston goes for a cover, but Robert manages to kick out at two and a half.
FOOTE: They were almost Walking to the back.
As he debates the count with the ref, Robert slips away and tags in Abby, who throws herself over the top rope, catching Royston around the neck before planting him with a tilt-a-whirl DDT. Royston stumbles to his feet, and Abby hit him with a running lariat, pushing the man backwards. She takes a moment to think before deciding to try the same thing once again, rushing towards her but in her pursuit for the perfect amount of power, the younger sister has driven him back into the corner where Luna makes the blind tag. Chester goes to enter the ring, causing a distraction for the referee to restrain him as a cloud of glitter envelopes Abby’s face. She stumbles backwards as Chester holds up his hands in surrender.
STING: The referee didn’t see it.
FOOTE: See what?
STING: What’s this?!
From underneath the ring, Alice pulls out a full-sized dust buster.
FOOTE: This is illegal.
STING: Is it?
Calling to her daughter, the Walkers begin to call for their daughter towards their corner and their nurturing arms. Luna moves to intercept, but a flailing elbow clips her temple and she stumbles toward her corner. Chester makes the tag.
FOOTE: It’s immoral!
STING: Is it?
FOOTE: Shut up and watch the match.
Chester takes his turn at catching the blind, escaping Walker, however, Abby leaps towards her corner. Rather than make the tag, however, she lands in front of her waiting mother who runs the dust buster over her face. Abby’s lips get caught in the vacuum, a tug of war now going on between mother and Barney as Chester grabs her ankles, pulling her away. For a brief moment, which later would grace the cover of a rejected Wheaties box, she was fully drawn and halved by her lips and ankles. Just before being rugged away, Robert makes the tag as Huffman moves to discuss Alice's role in the match.
STING: Huffman's back is turned and this doesn’t look good for the Walkers
Luna, seeing another opportunity, as Chester ducks behind Robert to wrap him up - digs in deep and exhales another fume of glitter, only to be stopped by…a finger? Robert has wiggled an arm loose just in time to hold his forefinger in front of her lips. Roosevelt goes to swat the arm away, but Robert uses the momentum to spin him just enough to where he catches an eyeful instead. Now blinded, and the position reversed is forced into the center of the ring.
FOOTE: Is he…presenting him?
Sure enough, Robert offers Roosevelt towards the family, just before turning him and clamping down square on his nose with his teeth biting down hard. Chester roars in pain, but everyone’s favorite father lands on top of him. As blood begins to pour from the wound, Chester focuses all his effort on removing the man, only for a bite to connect with his neck next. Robert's weight shifts onto the flailing man as he continues to chomp down over and over. Huffman, seeing the shoulders down, makes the count.
ONE!
TWO!
The entirety of Three Ring enters the ring to intercept, but they are met with good old fashioned family values as Alice and her brother join hands and play a bit of Red Rover.
THREE!
STING: Unbelievable! Not since Team Buddyback Pose road into town has anyone been able to get the best of the Barnies!
FOOTE: What in the goddamn fuck is happening?
Inside the ring, absolute chaos still is going on. Abby, now is riding Roystons shoulders, her hands covering his eyes as he stumbles about. Luna Baby has pinned Will down face-first and is rubbing his face at the pile of glitter. Rising over the bloodied ringleader, Robert begins to remove his belt, wrapping it around one hand. He grins, flashing his blood soaked teeth.
ROBERT: This is going to hurt you a lot more than it hurts me.
STING: We’re gonna get canceled.
He pulls back his arm, just as Chester and Abby tumble over the top rope and the show abruptly cuts to a
commercial break.
English appears on the big screen in front of the crowd. He smirks, sucking on the cigarette hanging between his lips. He lets the roar of the crowd fill the silence.
CASANOVA: We have witnessed two title changes already here tonight. The great Three Ring Barney has showed some points of weakness for the first time. Fenix somehow knocked off JJ Slayer. But this weekend it's time to take our eyes to the big prize...
English cringes at his accidental rhyme, sucking on his cigarette to comfort himself through the rhyming couplet.
CASANOVA: A one night 14-Person Deathmatch Tournament called Killdozer Cup will tell us who the top deathmatch wreslter in CULT is. We have some true stars debuting and some CULT vets eager to climb their way back to the top. Now people have asked me what is the prize in this tournament? I guess bragging rights isn't good enough in this day and age. So the winner of the Killdozer Cup will be the final entrant in the upcoming Heaven Sent Battle Royal. While tonight they put thier body on the line in three matches for you sick fucks... they will be the freshest person at Heaven Sent -- giving them the greater chance of getting a shot at the New World Championship.
English smirks as the scene fades into the main event.
MAIN EVENT:
Serenity Holmes vs Ace Sky
CU:LT TV Title
Air horns begin to blare followed by the shrill sound of a whistle, the crowd now worked into an absolute frenzy. The staff has managed to clear the ring from the chaos over the break, but the audience has become anxious for more.
More violence.
More pain.
More combat.
CHILDERS: Introducing first, the challenger for the CU:LT TV Championship - from HOUSTON, Texas and weighing in at 185 pounds - he is the Space Shaman himself - Ace SKKKKKKKKKKKKKYYYYYYYY
More air horns erupt just as a firework drops, hitting the top of the ramp with an explosion and there is a countdown voice over starting from 5.
FIVE! FOUR! THREE! TWO! ONE!
Ace Sky steps out in an aviator jacket and his usual in ring attire - Eye In The Sky by The Alan Parsons Project playing over the PA. The clank of metal against the railing accompanies the sound of the snare drum as the audience tamps along. He salutes a peace sign and jogs down the aisle way his arms outstretched. The cultists grasp onto him, almost to where he has to pull them along as if they are trying to stop him - or join him in the ring. Moving away from the groping hands of the audience, he dashes forward and leaps upon the apron. Ace turns back to the crowd, saluting them once more before flinging himself in over the top rope with a front flip. Landing perfectly, he follows this by a series of three front handsprings and a rolling savate kick.
STING: Ace has worked his way up the ranks and it’s nice to see him having his chance to shine!
FOOTE: Would you have fucked with the woman in the bathtub from the Shining? I mean, say you had a few shots and maybe a quaalude or two, she was caught in a dryer…
STING: What the fuck is wrong with you?
FOOTE: Other than the fact you’ve sworn more than seven times during this show?
STING: Yes.
FOOTE: I’m drunk.
"Synthetic Sympathy" by Trash Boat immediately explodes from the arena's surrounding systems - bass and repeated opening lyrics synchronize with the lights flashing around the venue's interior. Serenity Holmes sprints from the backstage area to center stage - TV championship wrapped around her waist. She takes off her hat, tossing it into the crowd. A fight breaks out as the fans rush to grab it - tearing it to shreds in the process. Looking down the entrance path, she rushes towards the ring.
CHILDERS: And her way to the ring! Hailing from Houston, Texas! Weighing in at 127 pounds. She is the Combat Unlimited Lethal Trials Television Champion, the ‘22nd Century Girl’ Serenity HOOOOOOOOOLMES!
Serenity slides under the bottom rope before unloading onto her feet, stepping past the waiting challenger, where steps onto the second rope, peeling the belt from around her waist. She lifts it into the air, sticking out her tongue and the ravenous crowd erupts once more. Handing off the belt to JJ Huffman, Serenity bounces down from the middle rope, moving to her corner.
FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!
CLAP - CLAP. CLAP - CLAP - CLAP.
FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!
As the camera pans across the scene, the barricade, once a considerable distance from the ring, is now positioned almost menacingly close. It looms over the ring, casting a shadow that creates a sense of claustrophobia. The noise of the crowd, once a deafening roar, has now become a mere hum in the background.
Two fierce competitors face off in the center of the ring, their eyes locked in a fierce stare-down.
The referee rings the bell, and the match begins. The anticipation in the crowd is palpable, and their energy builds with each passing moment. As Ace starts the bout with some flashy footwork, the audience responds with a mix of admiration and skepticism, recognizing his showboating for what it is. However, when Serenity lands a crushing elbow strike to Ace's midsection, the crowd erupts with excitement. The sound reverberates throughout the small venue, sending shivers down the spines of those in attendance.
FOOTE: Well shit.
Holmes sends Ace into the turnbuckle. She charges in for a corner clothesline, but Ace side steps and she stops just short. Serenity Holmes counters with a swift kick, connecting solidly with Ace's kidney. Clutching his lower back, he staggers away, turning just in time to dodge a roundhouse kick from Serenity, Ace retaliates with a series of quick punches of his own. But Serenity is able to bob and weave away with grace and ease, each blow failing to connect with its intended target. The two continued to exchange blows, neither able to solidly connect.
Finally, Serenity manages to land a solid kick to Ace's midsection, causing him to double over in pain. Seizing the opportunity, Serenity grabs Ace by the head and slams him into the mat with a step-over dragon suplex. The crowd erupts into cheers and applause as Serenity follows up with a quick pin, but Ace manages to kick out just in time. Holmes lifts him to his feet, Ace makes a bold move, lunging forward and grabbing Serenity by the hair. He swings her around, using his larger mass to lift her off her feet, but she holds onto his wrists and the match spills out of the ring, and the two wrestlers continue to fight on the floor. Ace manages to get to his feet first, throwing her into the steel steps, mounting the top rope.
FOOTE: Get out of there Serenity!
Almost as if she can hear him, she moves out of range, forcing the king of the skies to hop down. She slides in and the two competitors' horns lock in a brutal struggle. Sky initially gains the upper hand, pushing Holmes back against the ropes, but they remain tightly entangled. The referee, Huffman, intervenes and calls for a break, temporarily halting the action. The two warriors lock up once again, but this time it's Serenity who seizes control. She unleashes a barrage of close-range strikes against Sky, landing a series of punishing blows. However, her momentum is abruptly halted by Sky's devastating spinning backhand, which stops her in her tracks.
The crowd roars with excitement as Sky springs off the middle rope, executing a perfectly timed springboard moonsault. However, his high-flying maneuver is suddenly cut short as Holmes expertly catches him mid-air, countering with a bone-jarring backbreaker. With Sky writhing in pain on the mat, Holmes seizes the opportunity to go for the pin. Arching her back and pressing down with all her might, she looks to secure the victory, but to the surprise of the onlookers, Ace somehow manages to kick out at the count of two.
STING: Near fall and almost a quick retain for the champion.
Undeterred, Holmes presses on, delivering a punishing snap suplex and following it up with a vicious knee drop. Sky valiantly fights through the agony, summoning the strength to kick out once more, refusing to give up without a fight.
LE-THAL TRI-ALS!
CLAP - CLAP. CLAP - CLAP - CLAP.
LE-THAL TRI-ALS!
Holmes launches into a standing moonsault, her body twisting gracefully in the air before landing a crushing blow on Sky. Not content with just one impressive move, she follows it up with a rolling thunder leg drop, her momentum carrying her forward as she crashes down onto her opponent. Despite the combined impact of these two devastating maneuvers, Sky refuses to stay down, summoning every ounce of willpower he has left to kick out of the pin. Holmes, undeterred, pulls him up and unleashes a barrage of knee strikes, each one hitting its mark with brutal precision. But just as she's about to deliver the third and final blow, Sky catches her off guard, executing a lightning-fast Spanish Fly that leaves the crowd gasping in awe.
FOOTE: Get up you babies!
STING: JJ Huffman, now counting - neither one of these superstars moving
For a moment, it seems like the match is over as the referee's hand almost reaches the 9 count, but both warriors somehow manage to get back up, their fierce determination driving them on. Sky seizes the opportunity to strike, delivering a thunderous superkick that sends Holmes to the mat. With his opponent dazed and disoriented, he hits a running shooting star press, flipping through the air with incredible agility before crashing down onto Holmes once more. With the crowd on the edge of their seats, Sky goes for the cover, hoping to finally put an end to this epic battle. But to his dismay, Holmes kicks out once more, her unyielding spirit refusing to be broken.
LETS GO SERENITY!
CLAP - CLAP. CLAP - CLAP - CLAP.
LETS GO SERENITY!
As the intense match reaches its climax, Holmes unleashes a devastating triple knee combo, delivering a trio of crushing blows to Ace. The crowd holds its breath as she sets up for the finishing move - the infamous Red Bottom, a brutal double foot curb stomp that has taken out many opponents in the past. But Sky is not one to go down without a fight, and he manages to counter with a swift jumping knee to the face, stunning Holmes and halting her momentum. Sensing an opening, he springs into action, launching himself off the ropes and executing a picture-perfect springboard blockbuster that lays Holmes out. With victory seemingly within his grasp, Sky goes for the cover, hoping to finally put an end to this grueling battle. But to his dismay, Serenity somehow manages to summon the strength to kick out at the very last moment, her unyielding spirit refusing to be broken.
Sky picks her up once again, determined to finish what he started.
He slides her onto his back, looking for the final blow - the End Of Life - but Holmes wriggles free, sweeping his legs. She takes two steps, leaping to the top rope, twisting in the air and in a moment of sheer brilliance, she lands a lightning-fast Red Bottoms, her foot connecting with Sky's skull with bone-crushing force. The crowd erupts into a frenzy as the referee counts the pin…
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
And with a triumphant roar, Holmes emerges victorious. The crowd erupts into absolute chaos as Serenity stands up and raises her arms in victory, looking both relieved and ecstatic at the same time. Retrieving her belt, JJ hands it over and she lifts it high. Ace slowly comes to and sits up, looking disappointed at his loss but also impressed by Serenity's skill. Serenity extends a hand to help Ace up, and he accepts it, shaking her hand and giving her a nod of respect.
STING: This is exactly what you want to see in a champion.
FOOTE: Hell of a match, shame we still have Serenity.
STING: Oh shut up.
VOICE: Sereeeenity….
FOOTE: What the hell?!
Ace and the Serenity, still breathing heavily, turn towards the screen as the lights begin to dim. The view is from that of the camera operator, the sound of boots crunching along, branches breaking loudly beneath them. They appear to be somewhere in Louisiana, a flashlight flaring out in the darkness in front of them - scanning the bayou. The frame moves wildly, as it turns around to face the speaker.
On the screen, a woman with a scar straight down her face stares into the screen. She has a red diamond under one golden eye and beneath the other is a tattooed tear. The center of her neck is made up of a large, bright smiley face - she is known to the wrestling world as the Ragdoll, Jaclyn Pierrot.
RAGDOLL: Something says you thought I wouldn’t come. She’s the type of clown that’s all bubble and no - pop!
The clown-faced woman's honking laughter blares through the arena. She stops suddenly.
RAGDOLL: But Serenity, sweet Serenity. I told you, you should look into me. See, I like places like here, and people like you. You set yourselves up - and place yourselves in these positions where…well…
The camera cuts down the .44 magnum, aptly named the Aristocrat. She flips out the cylinder, aiming the flashlight into the slots to show it fully loaded, before popping it back in.
RAGDOLL: We all die one day. But Serenity - there’s something I always wondered about this place. It’s not that board that just beckons me to breach their clandestine collusion, or those straps you string around your waists to try to prove to one another that you’re the pretty princess at the ball. No…what I wondered about…. was the weapon.
She continues to move through the brush, now approaching a fire burning in the dark. A single figure sits on a log, poking ar the flames. Jacky steps on a larger stick, the snap alerting the woman, who turns suddenly, revealing the Sound of Death herself.
ISABELLE: Who’s there?
The sound of the hammer being pulled back is quickly drowned out by a scream - a howl from behind this world, past the grave, and from hell itself. The flashlight lifts up past Isabelle, aiming into the dark, revealing the disheveled form of Jane Doe, skin and hair still streaked from her encounters with electricity. She moves slowly at first, stumbling, until her lifeless eyes begin to shine from the light. She breaks into a run, the camera dropping and a single gunshot can be heard.
bang.
copyright.
