French Lessons with Football Fan and Musician

Logan's location: The parking lot of Cantine Maude in Saint-Etienne-de-Bolton, Quebec
Faye's location: Bailey/Brown Household in Sherbrooke, Quebec
May 23rd, 2023

Look, Faye wanted pizza, and that's the closest pizza joint to the couple, OK? Simple as. Anyway, Bailey and Brown are on the phone as Logan waits for his pizza.

Logan Bailey: "You said June 25th?"

Faye Brown: "Yep. Bad Boy's Reply Tour starts in FCW that day. On a beach. Where dress code is apparently bikinis."

Logan Bailey: "Oh, no shit?"

Faye Brown: "I'm wearing my normal gear, Logan."

Logan Bailey: "I've seen you in a bikini, Faye... first night we were together, I saw you in a bikini, you looked good."

Faye Brown: "That was me acting on impulse and you know it..."

Logan Bailey: "...I'll hope you shooting your shot that night wasn't on impulse..."

Faye Brown: "Fuckin' duh, it wasn't. Marrying Mevy before I knew she was a racist sociopath was impulse. All over her saying the right shit."

Logan Bailey: "I'm just fuckin' with ya, I know... but, yeah, June 25th."

Faye Brown: "Feel free to come with if you'd like. I'm going with you for your BWF Title match in Limitless, after all."

Logan Bailey: "Don't we always go to each other's shows? Like normal married couples in wrestling?"

Faye Brown: "Yeah, but I'm making sure I'm in the crowd for your stuff. I just want you to do the same for me."

Logan Bailey: "Of course. Never gonna say no to tha-- oui?"

Logan's interrupted by a non-bilingual server, obviously speaking French. Bailey simply holds up his index finger to him, gesturing "one second?," which the server obliges.

Logan Bailey: "...can you bullshit me through some French right quick?"

Faye Brown: "Ohhh right right... I forgot you failed that in high school. Put me on speaker?"

Bailey obliges and lets his wife speak for him.

Server: "Son total est de quarante-deux soixante-dix-neuf."

Faye Brown: "He's saying your total is forty two dollars and seventy nine cents."

Logan Bailey: "Oh... uh..."

Bailey gets out his trusty Death Note wallet and pulls two 20s and a 5... then an extra 10 as his tip.

Server: "Merci."

Logan Bailey: "Oui."

Faye Brown: "Je ne suis pas sûr du pourboire... j'aurais probablement pu laisser plus pour les conneries que nous avons faites."

Logan Bailey: "...what?"

Brown just snorts before snickering to herself. The southernism in Bailey's natural voice finally hits as he complains.

Logan Bailey: "Man, that ain't even fair, don't fuck with me in a different language like that."

Faye Brown: "Nous sommes au Québec, l'anglais est la langue secondaire, bébé."

Logan Bailey: "Ai--Stop that!"

Brown keeps snickering to herself before continuing.

Faye Brown: "Come on home, then! Ya... ya dumbo."

The server hands Logan the pizza; supreme, of course.

Logan Bailey: "All right, god, I'm on my way... oh, me--merci."

Server: "Dites à votre femme qu'elle est la bienvenue ici à tout moment!"

Faye Brown: "Aww, merci!"

Logan Bailey: "God damn it!"

Bailey/Brown Household in Sherbrooke, Quebec
May 25th, 2023

The view sees a newly not-pregnant Faye Brown sitting on a couch across from her husband and recent Heaven Sent Battle Royale loser Logan Bailey. The two sit basically identically: ankle resting atop the other leg, holding their head up with a propped up arm resting on a couch arm. Brown's belly may not be watermelon sized anymore, but she's accrued a new defect: a broken nose. It's healing up, but obviously still not 100%. We'd wager it's probably still a couple weeks out from Faye doing anything extraneous? Something along those lines. Meanwhile, Logan's back's healed up from getting both "eliminated from" and "set on fire in the middle of" the Heaven Sent Battle Royale. As both Brown and Bailey both predicted would happen, even if it was way later than they anticipated.

Brown tilts her head a little, just enough to side-eye Logan before piping up.

Faye Brown: "So... Lissie Hope."

Bailey looks back to Faye, side-eying just as well...

Logan Bailey: "Yep..."

...before shaking his head no with a fake grimace.

Logan Bailey: "Dear god, she and I gotta dance again over a year later."

Brown pops her lips before admitting...

Faye Brown: "I'd like some backstory, admittedly..."

Logan Bailey: "All right, since I guess you're my personal interviewer now. I'm not gonna sit here and say her and I are long-time rivals. We aren't..."

Bailey lets his words sit for a second before shaking his head no.

Logan Bailey: "OK, better yet, I'm not even gonna sit here and say we're rivals. We aren't. In fact, our history goes as far as "there was a tag match we were in when APWO was a thing. I remember winning it, then we were just... cool, all of a sudden."

Faye Brown: "A lot of friendships blossom after wild misunderstandings... welcome to the club, there, babe."

Logan Bailey: "Yeah, sure, Stacy Jones's bully. Though I'll say... it's just a shame whoever took over streaming rights to APWO's... I'd say library, but I think that's a stretch..."

Faye Brown: "They ran maybe seven shows and Suplex Island. You'd think Suplex Island would have kept them afloat, though..."

Logan Bailey: "You'd think... but whoever owns their streaming rights, I guess they burned those tapes. I'm sure she'll either bring it up more than I have... or not at all."

Both Brown and Bailey shrug a little.

Faye Brown: "Only she's to say there..."

Logan Bailey: "I remember last month, you called her "that Texas chick." And it reminded me of comparing her to the Texas Longhorns back then. Simply for the fact that to that point, I'd said one somewhat mean thing about her... which I genuinely don't even remember what it was about. Meanwhile comparatively, she'd apparently taken shots at everyone else she was facing without judging how that would look coming from someone I thought refused to look at their own actions. You know, the typical petulant brat stuff that people still think is apparently good?"

Faye Brown: "Especially when that's actually how they are behind the Twitter account? Yeah, tell me about it..."

Logan Bailey: "But to call her akin to that, down to the University of Texas these days... honestly, it's foolish. Texas hasn't changed a bit, and I stand by calling them whatever I call them... as long as they aren't back. But Lissie now?"

Bailey pauses for... quite simply, effect. Always a performer at heart is Logan... the weirdo.

Logan Bailey: "She's literally one match removed from being crucified for a world title. I feel like I should have known English was gonna do something to meddle with that, that's what I most know him for. Only this time, he doesn't have an Orphanage to back him up, or if he does, I ain't seen 'em. I never saw Texas get crucified for worse than whatever Lissie's done."

Faye Brown: "I don't follow her, but judging by y'all's past... I don't think she's done much of anything to deserve crucified."

Logan Bailey: "I know, right? CU:LT's a fucked up place. Meanwhile, what do I got? Burn marks all because I wanted to wrestle in my hometown... and maybe another month before my wife gets to wrestle again all because she broke her nose on what used to be our pantry door."

Faye feels at her nose.

Faye Brown: "It's healed up pretty quick, to be fair..."

Logan Bailey: "It looks good... that said, I guess it takes about fifteen months to properly flip a script. Nowadays, the Lissie of old would be right about me riding your coattails. You're a two-time world champion, I've yet to win a singles title for myself. You get signed to at least two companies, including one I'm in, without lifting a finger. I have to fight to get to CU:LT and to be non-exclusive to Limitless. You can get triple-digit engagement on Twitter. I sometimes struggle to break over my follower count."

Faye Brown: "Be jealous."

Logan Bailey: "I'm not. I'm proud of you for being such a fantastic asset to any company you step foot in."

Faye Brown: "As I am of you. For the exact same shit."

Logan Bailey: "But before we just make this a mush-fest... I guess in that way, Lissie and I are a lot more alike than I thought we were in APWO. A lot's changed, for sure. I wouldn't mind saying we're friends. But you know the typical "just because we're friends" speech."

Faye Brown: "I've had to give a few before, so... pretty much. You know, "just because we're friends doesn't mean I'm gonna go easy," "it'd be disrespectful to you," yadda yadda..."

Logan Bailey: "I believe we'll both spare the other that old chestnut."

Faye Brown: "Probably for the best."

A brief pause between the two as Raye and/or Hub coos in the background. They sound identical right now because they're only going on a month old.

Logan Bailey: "Honestly, I want her to beat my ass. To run fucking circles around me, because I know she's got that in her. Even if English may not believe it. Even if I didn't believe it before I saw it for myself a year ago."

Faye Brown: "Uhh..."

Logan Bailey: "I'm not gonna complain if it's the other way around. Obviously. I just know I have nothing to lose opening a pay-per-view for my second match. Against the former New World Champion."

Faye Brown: "Nothing to lose except what may be a pivotal match in your CU:LT career."

Logan Bailey: "It's only match two."

Bailey finally gets up from the couch, probably to make him, Faye, or the twins some kind of sustenance.

Logan Bailey: "What's the worst that could happen?"